Don't Be a Dum Dum, Dum Dum and Vegan Posole

So I have this big ass contest going on here in Veganville. Yep since like um before last week. Yep. Lots of people, yep lots and lots of people have entered.


NOT!

You know how many????  Look below for the answer.


You don't see any numbers. Do you? You don't see anything at all, right? That's because NOBODY ENTERED! NOBODY!
Bupkis. A big ass zero for the big ass contest. Which in my self respected opinion is:

Dum, Dum, Dum!  When you could win yum yum yum! See contest! Hey...speaking of dum, dum, dum. That's the name of the dummy pic above. This is a photo dear to my beating ventricle. It's from the ultra fantastic Etsy shop, Snailbooty. If I were you I would move my booty over to Snailbooty before I snatch up this pic for myself. 

Did you know that I was almost a ventriloquist? Well I was... I had a dum dum like the middle dum shown above. Jerry and I were inseparable when I was in the first grade. We had matching red suits and we went everywhere together. Jerry would even order dinner for me. "GiGi will have a knish, and I'll have a Shirley Temple." That is until Jerry's head fell off!

Hey look what I found. I knew I'd find you my long lost friend! Sob, Sob. You can find Jerry's head sans body at Marieskidscollege, a nifty little vintage shop only on Etsy. Why he's almost like "Johnny got his gun" of the dummy world.

I think I'm gonna see if my friend Gil the lamp guy can make Jerry's noggin into a lampshade, just for old time's sake. Gil says they will put a lightbulb in anything. Even Jerry.
And let me tell you- some heads are going to roll if nobody plays my contest, Bahahaha. Jerry said that, not me. Dum de dum dum.
While we are waiting for a contestant to freaking show up, here's a delicious recipe for Posole. 

Traditional Posole is more brothy, so feel free to up the liquid content. Either way it's a bowl of hearty goodness. I like it more stew like.

Pozole Stew

1 small can roasted diced chipotle peppers
3 cloves of garlic chopped
1 C chopped onions
1 T canola oil
1 Summer squash diced
1 yellow, red or green pepper diced
1 zucchini diced (boy this is getting dicey)
1 tomato diced
2 tofurky links sliced (we slice 'em we dice 'em)
3 T tomato paste
15 oz can hominy (drained)
16 oz can pinto beans with chipotle rinsed and drained
1 tsp. cumin
1.5-3 C vegan broth or H2O
sea salt to taste
oregano to taste
cilantro julienned (optional)
1 avocado (optional)
lime
tortilla chips

***** breaking news******we interrupt this recipe to bring you a contestant****All the way from Chicago****

I Can't believe I won another box of voopees, GiGi!

I'm speechless, Oprah.

But I'm not speechless!
How did you like my Oprah impression, GiGi?

At one time you had the upper hand in our relationship Jerry, but now you have no hands so I win. So bob on out of here so I can finish this recipe.

Posole continued: without interruption, Jerry!

Heat oil in big heavy pot and add chipotle, onions, garlic and veggies, and saute. Add remaining veggies and tofurky rounds and cook til lightly browned. Add hominy, beans, tomato paste, spices and the amount of water (or veggie broth) you are comfortable with. Simmer for about a half hour. Serve in bowls. Top with cilantro, lime and avocado. (I added lime to the Pasole while it was cooking) then added more to my bowl. Just because I like it.

I used to like Pazole, but now it goes right through me. Bahaha. Good Oprah impression, huh, GiGi,huh?

Jerry quit talking over me! Sorry for all the interruptions today, folks.  Hey don't be a dum dum. Be a smarty. Play the contest, join the party.

Guess Who's At The Window

Hey, forgive me for not posting since the Opiesode. It's countdown to V-day and I'm a busy little bugger churning out vegan sweetness and light for the masses. I've missed you so. I didn't want to come by empty handed, so I managed to come up with some new surprises here in Veganville. Remember this.. when these blondies were just a glint in my eye. Well we've worked on these in the Veganville test kitchen and we think these blondies are so delicious that they might even become a legend. And guess what! Legends never die, which means these blondies will have an infinite shelf life and will never ever expire. They'll out live you and you can even be buried in your mausoleum with a box of them. Okay... none of that is true except maybe the mausoleum part. Besides, these are so awesome that you'll forget all about expiration dates, (yours and theirs). You will want to eat them right away. Hey live a little! Here's just a hint of this new product the first in our line of, "Guess Who's At the Window Box" boxes, and who better to introduce the these blondies than...

Blondies Have More Fun

Marilyn Can't Wait to Get Her Hands on These

and you won't either! Box comes with Marilyn coveting the goodies. That's why they're called "Guess Who's at the Window Box". Thanx for the great pic, Larry! Coming to an Etsy near you.

I apologize for the white font above. The sentence  was hijacked by an irate html highlighter. Please come back soon.

The Dope on Opie?

So what's the dope on Ope? Looks like all the vegan boards are lit up. Yesterday I was even featured in an Etsy treasury curated by sister vegan Etsian, Heather Vegan entitled Oprah It's Vegan Not Veganish (While you're there check out Heather's beautiful shop).

Let me first say this. Over the years that Oprah has been the reigning queen of daytime TV I've maybe seen the show once or twice. Once when she pulled a wagon filled with pounds of hamburger that equaled the amount of weight she had lost to fit into her size ten Calvin's. I think I saw the Tonya Harding baseball bat episode.You remember the episode where Tonya tried to reenact the Nancy Kerrigan debacle by taking out Oprah's knees. I don't have a TV. Here is the proof that I do not own a TV.

Oprah weeps openly because GiGi does not have a TV and has to miss the Howard Lyman vegan show.

Check out Howard Lyman here. You know the mad cowboy, who's a 4th generation cattle rancher and vegan. Apparently Howard did not want to hear Michael Pollan, (or is it Pollen-I'm definitely allergic to this guy), say "happy meat" 300 times in one show. What? Drive past Coalinga, CA on the 5 interstate and you can taste the death for miles.You can see the unhappiness in those animals eyes. Happy? I never thought of being brought to slaughter as a joyous moment. But what do I know, Howard?

Howard also didn't want to be there because he makes Oprah cry too. "Please Mr. Lyman I can only do this vegan challenge for 7 days. I know it's not compassionate to eat animals but on day 8 Gail has got to go get me some big ass 1/4 pounder, and a large strawberry milk shake. Just to show you how compassionate Oprah can be I am  going to give everybody in the audience a new car. Check under your seats, everybody" .

A handful of vegans were ecstatic to see Veganism get some mainstream exposure. Most said we were misrepresented and that Lisa Lings visit to a factory farm was pure pablum and overly planned. Her visit certainly did not feature atrocities that most vegans are aware of.

Okay, I know I just gave you the Opie Cliff Notes, but remember, I don't have a television so I can only make things up in my head. I'm not going to leave you hanging though. I just read a blog written by somebody who just so happens to have a television set, and boy oh boy is her Oprah blog chockful of perspective. (In my mind the right perspective). Thank you Cindi!
http://www.blog.farmusa.org/oprahs-vegan-challenge-the-good-the-bad-the-truth/

Has anyone seen Tanya?

Uh-oh! I'm outta here.

The Color Eggplant

Lynn chose to refresh her walls with a palette of mint julep, pistachio and sea foam. Lynn decorated with a green thumb and accented rooms with lavender. Lynn also loved the color purple almost as much as Oprah does, but this blog is not about Oprah.


Oprah never ever read my blog,even though she was sued by ranchers and calls herself a vegan. Real vegans read my blog! Oprah has never asked me to pose for any of O's magazine covers. Oprah might love the color eggplant, but she's not getting any of it. According to a nationwide survey Oprah does not need any more lasagna.
This recipe is in honor of Lynn and should be as appetizing as her decorative paint.

Roasted Eggplant and Spinach Ricotta Lasagna (vegan of course)

1 Box of Vegan No-Boil Lasagna

1 Medium sized Eggplant,olive oil spray

28oz. HM or Your Favorite Purchased Vegan Tomato Sauce
Approximately 1/2 C of Chopped Sundried Tomatoes in Oil
10oz. "Follow Your Heart"  Vegan Mozzarella Cheese
1 Cup Water

Vegan Ricotta (this is multi purpose and can be used to stuff shells, or toss with spaghetti)

8oz.Frozen Spinach thawed
1 Firm Tofu Drained and Pressed
2 tsp Fresh Lemon
2 tsp Olive or Canola oil
1/4 tsp Sea Salt
1/4 C Nutritional Yeast (nooch) + 3 T

Roasted Eggplant
Preheat oven 425. Line cookie sheet with foil. Lightly spray with canola oil.
Peel and slice eggplant into rounds.Lightly salt. Place on cookie sheet and bake about 4-5 minutes each side. Set aside.
Turn  Oven down to 375.

Ricotta
Make Ricotta. Mush the already pressed/drained tofu into a medium bowl. If your hands are clean use them to mush the tofu, it's fun. Add lemon juice, garlic and spinach. Mush with your clean hands again. Keep mushifying for 2-5 minutes. Add nutritional yeast (not Brewer's yeast)
and olive oil. Go ahead you can use a fork to mix now. Cover ricotta until ready to use. Clean your hands after all that mushing.

Lasagna
Spray a 9x13 lasagna pan. Ladle some sauce on bottom of pan and spread evenly with enough to cover the pan. Follow with a layer of lasagna noodles (yes they can overlap)  then a layer of ricotta spread with spatula and a teaspoon of sundried tomatoes on each lasagna noodle. Folllow with a slice of roasted eggplant,sauce and then shredded cheese. Continue layering. Last layer should be shredded cheese. Sprinkle remaining 3 T nutritional yeast on top of lasagna.
Pour 1 Cup of water evenly over the  top lasagna layer. Make sure to get some of the water into the corners of the top of the lasagna or they will get too crunchy.

Cover tightly with two sheets of overlapping foil. Bake 30-45 minutes. Remove foil and bake another 20 minutes. Remove from oven and let sit for 10 minutes before serving.

Shug in the Color Purple said, " I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice". So for today, just today, why not take a moment and savor and delight in the very thing you might have rushed by yesterday. I mean just to be on the safe side, you don't wanna piss anybody off. Now enough noticing...your lasagna is burning.