I'm Hungry!!!

Two of my buddies and I have tipped the scales again and have vowed to get back on track tomorrow. Actually, yesterday! This is not like my hefty blogs of yore, (remember that pissy nurse who weighed me last year?). Remember when that nasty ass nurse told me my bra was too tight...? That a too tight bra can cause back problems. Well that's not going to happen this time. I've stopped a bit before the booby trap snapped. I've also gotten more sane about food and brassieres. If I can spend money on food, (or in my case eat the remainders and profits of someone's order), I can afford a well made bra. I can also afford to purchase Isa Chandra Moscowitz',

"Appetite For Reduction"...Wonder if I can get it at a reduced price. I really wanna try it. I think we had our last hurrah this weekend.

It started off innocently. Yep Mo and I were going to split this portabello sandwich with yummy 1000 Island, (made with vegennaise, pickle relish and vegan BBQ sauce).We thought of making a lightweight vegan antipasto. Mo is some dicer/sous chef.

Instead we wound up with pounds of potato salad, (say that three times fast). Recipe coming soon.



Later that weekend we just had to down some Mexican Wedding Cookies we were making for a friend's surprise package. The recipe can be found in Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's "The Joy Of Vegan Baking". They are delish. A little too delish!

And these foods were all just the tip of the iceberg. And I'm not talking iceberg lettuce.

There's been a food fest all weekend. Hey don't worry. We can still eat great here at Veganville even though me and the home girls have to lose a few pounds. I'll be back with that kick ass potato salad recipe, right after I have my dinner of wilted watercress and boiled lemon.

Lucky MoFo13 Paella Explained

Paella has often been confused with non related food items. Today I will clear up this mess.

Paella is sometimes mixed up with payos. Payos, is a side curl. Paella is sometimes a side dish. Paella although sometimes acidic is not at all Hasidic. In a dirty restaurant you might find a hair in your paella it still does not make a paella peyos.

Paella has sometimes been called payola, not crayola although yes, Paella is a colorful dish. I can understand the mix up. Paella is so tasty that you might want to give a local DJ some shekels to broadcast just how great paella is. Don't do it I say. Alan Freed's last dinner on the outside was Paella. Payola is not paella. Remember you don't want to wind up in the Big House.



So kids, now that we straightened that out, let's make the Valencian dish, Paella. I used turmeric because there was no saffron readily available.

1C basmati rice

2 C boiling H20

1 T olive oil

3/4 of an onion
1 green onion
3 cloves garlic minced
1 green pepper diced
1 red pepper diced
1 tomato diced
110 oz can of artichoke hearts drained
5 hearts of palm
2 Tofurky sausages sliced
1 C frozen peas thawed
1 tsp turmeric
1 T paprika
sea salt

Mix rice and boiling water and let stand for 20 minutes. When ready pour off water. In the mean time heat oil in large fry pan over medium heat,(I like to spray the pan first), and saute onion and garlic until translucent. 5 minutes or so.
Add tofurkey, peppers, tomato and saute another 3 minutes. Add broth, rice and bring to boil. Reduce to simmer. Add sea slat, paprika, turmeric, peas, artichokes, hearts of palm. Cover and simmer about 20 minutes. Let cool 5 minutes.

See ya manana.





Stuffed Chokes

My sister Heidi is coming up on one of those benchmark birthdays. It's one of those birthdays the womens' glossies say is the new 35. Heidi says she's been feeling this benchmark age since she was 35. I've got 2 years on Heidi. I'll take 37.

Heidels is the first person I fell in love in with, after my Mommy and Daddy. So much so, I tried to get Heidi to climb out of her crib to play with me. She was fifteen then, but still. It wasn't easy moving those wooden bars.

When I was four years old I tried to teach Heidi to read. With apologies to Dr. Seuss, Heidels told me to, "Go sh** in my hat". She said what she meant and meant what she said, that Heidi.

I've been wanting to decorate a special cake for Heidi's impending birthday. Something peanut buttery and non-traumatic. So these cakes would not be an option...

Heidi facsimile Age 15

 Crib

The Cat Who Sha* in the Hat

I really want to bake a theme cake. Hmmmm, Heidi loves her kids and crazy parents, me certainly, and her bi-polar brother-in-law Mr. Tasse, even her almost ex-husband but best friend and house mate, Mikey. None of these were cake decorating material. Heidi would have an asthma attack before blowing out the first candle and dozens of remaining candles might blow up the house.  
So I decided to make a list of Heidi's other top 3 favorite things in the world. Please keep in mind that Heidi is a hairstylist and not a medical practitioner.

                             Heidi loves:

    1.To identify rare diseases, and weird anatomy.

    2.Band aids and Two Buck Chuck (not necessarily in that order).

    3.To Perform the Heimlich.

Heidi's third fave always reminds me of my good friends Gillette and Kathleen and the time they tried to kill me with Mexican food. This was before I wrote all my fat blogs. I was not yet practicing conscious eating, when the attempted murder took place.
Gillette and Larry were watching basketball and Kathleen and I were yapping and wolfing down corn chips.
"Go ahead have some more, GiGi", Kathleen said.
Six porcupine corn chips later, I gasped for air and waved my then flabby arms. Since Kathleen thinks everything I do is funny ha ha, she laughed and left to watch the third quarter. Even I would not push a 4 cornered razor sharp tortilla chip down my esophageal tube for a cheap laugh. Me and my smurf like face stood at the door to the TV room and mimed for medical help.Gillette took another bite of his burrito and turned up the game. Larry ran to me as I sputtered, "Heimlich!"  Larry carried me to the bathroom, put his arms under my rib cage and ...lifted me up off the ground high above the bathtub. WTF? Tomorrow's headlines flashed before my eyes
Vegan Writer and Cook Mama Tass Chokes on Flax Seed Corn Chip! Lakers Win!!! 
Heimlich cake is definitely out of the question. I still have a couple of weeks to come up with a cake. It's still Italian week anyway.
Last night I made some really good...

                                              Stuffed 'Chokes

4 medium artichokes, leaves trimmed and cut
1 medium onion minced

about 1/3 Cup and 3-4 T olive oil
2 cloves garlic minced

1 1/2 C Vegan Italian bread crumbs (365 is a good choice)
1/2 cup nutritional yeast

Juice of 1 Lemon (1 tablespoon reserved) for lemon water

2 squirts Tabasco
Sea salt to taste

Fill 8x8 pan with 11/2 inches water. Add 1 T of reserved lemon water. Set aside.
Wash artichokes. Turn upside down to dry. Once dry, cut stems straight across leaving a level base. Stand up straight, pull off tough outer leaves, then with a scissor cut a 1/2' off tips of remaining leaves. With sharp knife cut straight across the tops of the artichokes. Place in lemon water. The water will keep the artichoke from oxidizing.

Spray large fry pan with olive oil. Heat pan and add 1/3 cup olive oil. Cook onion about 5 minutes, add garlic and cook for another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and add breadcrumbs, nutritional yeast, sea salt and remaining lemon. Divide stuffing into 4 portions and spread leaves on each artichoke and spread filling between leaves. I like using my hands for this. Stuff all the artichokes.
Place 11/2 inches water in a pasta pot, and place stuffed artichokes upright in water. Drizzle with remaining olive oil. Cover and cook for about 45 minutes until outer leaf is tender.
For additional reading enjoyment visit:

http://www.ehow.com/how_14949_heimlich-maneuver.html

Happy Heimlich Heidels! xoxoxo
Today you are you. That is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you.
                                  Dr. Seuss

A Sicilian Welcome, A Sicilian Goodbye

Two Guys Salad

The priest didn't know the deceased but he had heard she was very loud. The priest said that a lot of people must have loved the deceased since a lot of people were weeping. My right eye drips uncontrollably whether I am happy or sad. Once my right eye started, my left eye joined in. If I continue to go without this eye operation I could probably make a good living as a professional mourner.The deceased is up there laughing at my dripping eye. Did the priest mention how funny the deceased was?
 The first time I met Lynn was on her 38th birthday.


"Before I introduce you to Lynn, I have to tell you something," Larry said.
"Okay."
"Lynn is very loud." 
"Is she deaf? My family is loud... how loud is loud?" I asked.
"Lynn is loud-loud."


And off we went.Twenty-five Sicilians and one jovial Irish guy were all seated around a long kitchen table.They squeezed me in between Tony, Tommy and Eddy (the Irish guy) who married the lovely Mariella. I sat under the gold framed eight foot picture of the Italian patriarch. Everyone kissed me hello like I was an old friend. Once they understood that I did not eat pork, ham filled calzone, or chicken parm, the family welcomed me with artichokes, pastry, espresso and potato pie. Beautiful broken English came at me from all sides.
"Want some baccala?" Tommy Sr. asked.
"No thank you, I don't eat fish."
"No fish??? Whatddya mean no fish?" Tony said.
"Fish is not sausage." Tony and Tommy Sr. said in unison.
"No, no thank you."
"How 'bout anchovies? Whaddya mean, no anchovies?"
"Um no thank you. I think those are tiny fish," I said.
Someone yelled, " Get GiGi some more potato pie."
Nina, Tony's gracious wife jumped up to get me some. And then like a volcanic eruption, the second coming, or Jurassic Park dinosaur,  I heard ...


"WHADDYA WANT TO DRINK? JUICE, SODA, WATER,  BROWN OR BLACK COFFEE?"
TOMMY- ANDREW- STEVEN ( Tommy-Andrew-Stephen is all one word) GET LARRY'S GIRLFRIEND SELTZER AND BLACK COFFEE."


"THANK YOU!" I bellowed back and then I heard my soon to be sister-in law's hearty contagious laugh.
Larry and I left New York for way too long. Life has a weird way of stirring things up. Sometimes life takes away the things that make it possible to do the things you need to do. Until life happens again and finally you do what you gotta do and should have done all along.
Births, deaths, marriages, restaurants, graduations, and always food went on while we were gone. It was Lynn's tragic, unfortunate and premature passing that brought us back to that kitchen table last week.
Amidst all the sadness and loss, those crazy Sicilians still found a way to feed this crazy vegan. About 80 people feasted at Nunzio's Pizza Town after the funeral. 


"Can I help?" I asked.
"No don't go into the kitchen, GiGi".
Tony went into his kitchen without me and brought me out a steaming voluptuous mixed vegetable dish.Yep, I was served before anybody.
The day after the funeral Gina, my nephew Stephen's wife had us over for a BBQ so we could meet the adorable twins (our great niece and nephew) and the rest of her family.
"Can I do something?"
"No, you sit. " Gina said.
"But I'm really good in the kitchen", I  said.


I proceeded to put the steak knives away in the wrong knife stand, (maybe so they wouldn't eat steak again).
Tommy Sr. and Kara (Andrew's girlfriend) made stuffed artichokes and marinated eggplant and zucchini for me. Stephen made potatoes and string bean salad.Tommy Jr. brought homemade vegan baked beans. I'm salivating now.
Before Andrew took us to the airport Larry, Andrew and my niece Dawn Marie went to see Tommy Jr. at the other family restaurant, "Two Guys" in Hicksville. Ziti in marinara, potato wedges with fried onions and olive oil, mixed greens with oranges and cracked olives, grilled NY Italian bread with grilled red peppers eggplant fresh basil and drizzled balsamic graced our table. This was Tommy Jr.'s first foray into complete vegan chefdom. I was more than impressed and couldn't stop eating. Delicious!
"Can I help you in the kitchen, Tommy?"
"No, you sit."
"But I'm good in the kitchen." I said.

Then I went to clear the plates and I dropped three forks.
 I would love to mention every kindness and generosity extended to us when we were back in NY, but there isn't enough space here. I realized I don't know how to finish this blog because I just don't want to say goodbye again. Since this is a vegan blog, I want to tell you something else about Lynn.
In addition to her vivaciousness, Lynn adored all kinds of animals almost as much as she did babies and QVC. In reverence to Lynn and this beautiful family, this week my blog  will be devoted entirely to Vegan Italian cuisine. Grazie Mille!
If you are in New York and want some great food prepared by great people please visit:

Nunzio's Pizza Town  

    751 Route 109 West Babylon New York

  631-957-3365

                          Two Guys Pizzeria                         

94 West Old Country Road. Hicksville. New York

  516-932-8489

Cavatelli with Fava Beans (Two Guys)

  Lynn, the table will never be the same without you. We love you forever. xoxoxo