MoFo 19 Masquerade Balls

My friend Molly just asked if I had a sizeometer on my blog. All food blogs should have sizeometers. Don't you think? I like to calibrate things. I'd really love to know how many pounds of almond butter, and dates I've downed since I've started MoFo. I'm a raw foodist trapped in a cooked vegan's body. The dehydrating trips me up though.  I don't own a dehydrator. Why? I don't want everything I make to look like prunes.
 In addition to salads and raw veggies, I make balls. I make balls in my food processor. Add any kind of nuts with some dates and some agave to your food processor, process to a paste. Spatula out. Scoop up the paste and roll  and you got your self some balls. I'm eating so much of these cylindrical beasts that I'm turning into a nut ball. Now after the sizeometer is finished measuring the almond butter and dates, it will be the sizeometer's job to measure the balls.  
Molly just texted me to tell me that a sizeometer is really a blog feature that basically counts the number of people who read your blog and then a sizograph tells you where they are from. It is the same thing as the "stats" feature on blogger. I just checked my stats. Yay.
Big shout out to my one reader Solveig, in Antarctica.

You can find the recipe here, I switched up the brown sugar for a bit of agave, and added more dates, I think you could probably cut the brown sugar completely and keep the original date amount and it would work just fine...but that's up to you Solveig :)





Time Warp Salad

Way back when, in a land of 8 track cassettes, iron on band tee shirts and bands called Iron Butterfly...back when tiny sawdusted hippie granola stores were the only places this veggie kid could slop together something kind to eat... mostly fresh peanut butter and carob rice cakes... Yeah way back when, my sister Heidels and I turned orange. And No... our orange tint wasn't from some Timothy Leary- Jerry Garcia sunshiny thing either. And no one of those primordial QT tan tubes didn't do it either. Remember those things? My mom tried QT on her tennis tan- white feet first. This gave her George Hamilton tootsies. Boy oh boy fake tans have come along way. No sirree no QT for Heidels and me. And still one day we woke up looking like a couple of tangerines.
We put our two noggins together and explored our furnished Los Angeles apartment for the culprit. Hmmm- no radiation leak. We had traded our screwdrivers and "tango" in for tequila so orange juice wasn't the problem. Where were we last night anyway? Our detective work didn't last long. We needed some strong ass coffee fast. Besides we reasoned, maybe everybody looks like "Tang" in LA.  Grab your shades, Heidels, my heads pounding let's go get some Joe. We got in Heidel's bug with the sunroof and were off.

Breakfast
GiGi: We'd like a pot of the strongest coffee you got.
Heidels: And a couple of margaritas.
GiGi: Ooh look they have carrot juice.
Heidels: Oh yeah and 2 large carrot juices. We're dehydrated.
GiGi: And look this is the place with the best carrot salad ever. Lets get 2 quarts to take home.
Heidels: Here's to vitamin D.
GiGi: And A.
Heidels: Gotta stogey?
GiGi: Yeah. Here you go, you grub.
Wow I forgot how much I love carrot salad. Really. Let's reinvent the decade!

I paired the carrot salad with a kashi and bow tie recipe from Robin Robertson's Vegan Planet,(great book), and topped the kashi with vegan sour cream. The flavors all really complimented each other. You're delicious, said the carrot salad. No, you are scrumptious, said the kashi. The bow ties remained mum. Yuk. Yuk.

Flashback Carrot Salad
Ingredients:
•3 cups grated carrots
•1/2 cup raisins
•1/2 cup vegenaise
•2T agave

•1/2 cup drained crushed pineapple

Add all ingredients except fruit to a large bowl and stir until combined well. Chill. I mean really. Just chill, man.

I Smell Pot...Pie

So remember when I promised you the best pot pie recipe ever? It's coming up. I never made a pot pie before. Sure I made oodles of pot brownies but that was way back when- like pre-pokey.
Hey...where did those cats come from...I didn't know we had cats, do you have cats? Apparently we do, for some time now. Oh sorry, I'm back now. Larry directed me back to my blog.

Hi. So we made this with my students. They did a bang up job too, if I do say so myself.

Filling

The Filling
4 carrots, chopped
3 medium potatoes, chopped

3 scallions, chopped
1 cup broccoli, chopped
2 cups vegetable broth (I make mine with water and bouillon cube)
1 cup frozen peas thawed

10  mushrooms, sliced
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon dill
1/2 teaspoon cumin
3 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup 1/2 vegan chicken strips roughly chopped (about 8 strips)
1 cup firm tofu drained pressed and cubed

Crust:
2 C flour
1/2 T Apple Cider Vinegar
2/3 C oil
1/4 tsp bkg powder
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/3 cup water


1 T oil
3/4 C fresh spinach
1C Daiya or shredded vegan "sheeze"


Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Toss carrots, potatoes, broccoli into a large stove pot, add the broth, bring to boil then simmer on low heat (covered) for 20-25 minutes. Stir occasionally.
Meanwhile, heat oil in fry pan and saute scallion, vegan chick (you know what I mean) and cubed tofu. Saute for about 7 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

2. While the carrots, and potatoes and brocc are cooking up, go ahead and make that crust. Mix the crust ingredients together in a bowl. Lightly flour a work surface. Pat dough out on surface and divide in half. Evenly press 1/2 the dough onto the bottom of a deep rectangular glass baking dish. Bake for 10 minutes.
Tip: I always transfer my dough from the work surface by wrapping it onto a rolling pin and then unrolling it from the pin into the pan.

3. When the broth mix is done. Add the remaining veggies, chick mix shredded "sheeze" and nooch. Mix well.
 4. Spoon  filling into crust packing it down. Press the remaining dough on the top, and bake for 20-25 minutes. The top will be golden brown when it's ready.


This recipe is a variation on a recipe I found on Vegweb. Great pot dude. Hey- no bogarting. Anybody out there?








MoFo 10 Lasagna-An Aerial View

Yes the road is paved with good intentions. I fully intended to write a recipe blog on roasted veggie and meatless ground round lasagna. I realize all my MoFo recipes thus far are laden with Daiya so I probably need to switch it up a bit. Plus my stupid lasagna photo looks like an aerial shot of Smyrna, Georgia.

Look closely. That might look like a black olive far right but it is actually the house Julia Roberts grew up in. A little to the left of Julia's birthplace- the thing that looks nothing like an onion- is the acting school Julia's parents owned.
Oh for goodness sake, I promised a savory recipe today and by God I'll post it.

Smyrna Lasagna
1/2 box of 16 oz no boil lasagna (365 is vegan)
20 oz, ( I think), Hm marinara or in a pinch TJ's organic basics tomato sauce in can
1 cup of baby carrots
2 cups broccoli (chopped)
1 onion (chopped)
About 7 oz of spinach thawed and water squeezed out.
1  10 oz tofu drained and pressed
1 clove of garlic smashed and chopped
3 T nooch
2 tsp olive oil
1 8 oz. package of Shredded Daiya Mozzarella
1 package Yves meatless ground round
1 T of oregano
canola oil spray or olive oil spray
sea salt
1C H2O


Preheat oven 400 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment and spray with oil. Place veggies on prepared pan. Spray again and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake about 20 minutes. Meanwhile back on the farm....
Crumble the Yves in one bowl and the tofu in another. Get out your 9x13 in. lasagna pan and some foil. 
For the ricotta...add garlic salt, olive oil and nooch to and mush it. Set aside.

When the veggies are done well take them out of the oven silly. Turn oven down to 375 degrees. Now assemble.
Ladle about 1/2 C  marinara on bottom of lasagna pan. Layer with about 6 overlapping noodles. Spread with ricotta, then spinach, then Yves, then a layer of veggies and a about 1/4 C Daiya. Repeat with sauce....layering. Pour the H2O all over this baby in between the crevices too, (you don't want hard noodles), then sprinkle with  a little nooch and oregano. Cover with two overlapping layers of foil. Bake for about 35 minutes. Remove foil and bake for another 20 minutes til bubbly and you just can't wait.

OMG I swear I  can see Julia Robert's face in my lasagna.

4 my blog by Vegan Chick on Polyvore.com

My Blog for "Life in Recipes" (carrot cookie sandwiches)

A while back, Janet and Rachel invited me to be a guest blogger. I’m really excited to be here at Life Told in Recipes. I just hope they remembered that I was coming. I noticed that other guest bloggers received some interview questions and a lead in. I flew all the way from Veganville too. Veganville is my place in cyber land. I’m a vegan food and fashion writer, sometimes irreverent essayist. I’m also the owner of Veganville a small vegan baking and cooking company in Berkeley, California. Hmmm wonder where they are…

Since I’m here, I’d like to mention that I never proselytize but merely expose some truths about certain industries. Today, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you about my experience with Martha.

Martha is a thug! There was a time when Martha thrived on sustainable ingredients but that was before she did time in the pokey. I’m sure you’ve heard about her famous ketchup packets and cigarette butt gazpacho by now, but I bet you didn’t know that while doing time, Martha also made eyeliner from peas. She fenced a lot of local ingredients and always composted while in the yard. Martha stopped eating the green meat and slimy eggs and was one step away from Veganhood when she was released.

This was the first cake she asked for on the outside.

It’s made with 582 eggs. Think of the chickens Martha, they are not as free range as you think. There’s a lot of crowding and barbed wire going on in those places, Martha. Think of a prison for chickens. I think I might have heard Martha cackle “I don’t care GiGi - I’m out”.
I took the liberty to veganize some Martha cookies.


Martha’s in the Big House Carrot Sandwich Cookies
2 Sticks Earth Balance softened
1 Cup Organic Brown Sugar
¼ C Water mixed with 3 tsp egg replacer
2 C unbleached flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
Tsp cinnamon
½ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp ginger
½ tsp allspice
2 C rolled oats
1.5 C grated carrots
1 C raisin
Preheat Oven to 350. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment. Cream together Earth Balance and both sugars on medium speed until fluffy. Add egg replacer and vanilla and mix until combined. Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder and spices in separate bowl. Add gradually to Earth balance mix and mix until combined. Mix in oats, carrots and raisins until just blended. Shape a T of dough (a small ice cream scoop works well) into balls and place 2 inches apart on baking sheets. Bake 12-15 minutes until lightly browned. Cool completely before filling.
Vegan cream cheez
¼ C Earth Balance (softened)
¼ C Tofutti (softened)
2 C vegan confectioner’s sugar
1 tsp non-alcoholic vanilla
Cream Earth Balance with Tofutti. Beat in confectioner’s sugar a half a cup at a time. Remember to scrape down the sides in between. Add vanilla last.
When the cookies are completely cool, spread about 1 T of vegan cream cheese on the bottom of one cookie and then sandwich it together with another. Enjoy!

Portrait of a Cake Artist

Marcia Marolt- the Cake Artist

                  

                                   

Today is a very special day, kids. It's Veganville's inaugural "Interview Somebody Other Than Myself Day". It wasn't easy coming up with an interviewee who could be as gracious and talented and delusional as me. Trust me there were not a lot of candidates. My mommy disowned me yesterday. She has blocked my number. Anyway, the lovely and multi-talented, dessert decorator extraordinaire Marcia Marolt stepped up to the cake plate and agreed to an interview between naps.

V: Thanx for waking up, Marcia.
M: Good morning.

V: So what are some of the things you and GiGi have made?
M: A mess...But seriously folks, we've made a castle, Halloween cupcakes, witches fingers, (no witches were hurt in the process), Noreen's cakes, the Walk of Shame Barbie cake and more.

V: Where did you learn to make such fancy shmancy cakes?
M: My mommy taught me.

V: What is GiGi's nickname for you?
M: Candypants.

V: Did you draw out a pattern for the character cake above? How do you figure out your cake patterns?
M: I just break it down into shapes mostly, but I did draw a pattern for the boots. I don't know how I figure out my cake patterns. Magic?

V: I understand you are a whiz with a pastry bag.
M: You understand correct, sir.

V: What times do you and GiGi work? How many smoke breaks do you take?
M: Usually GiGi and I work late at night because we are cool like that. I usually take 3 smoke breaks.

V: How do you and GiGi work together?
M: GiGi and I work very well together. We're like the Loggins and Messina of vegan cakery.

V: I understand you have a new terrarium cake and a YouTube show in the works.
M: You understand correct again.

V: On the Noreen Character cake what size pastry tips did you use for the hair, eyes etc?
M: I don't know. I'm moving and my cake tips are in the other place. I do know that the one I used for the hair looks like a garlic press but it's a pastry tip.

V: What are you looking forward to creating with GiGi, besides the terrarium?
M: The next cake I want to do is a Keen style Go Go girl with a groovy dress.

V: What's next for Candypants and Veganville?
M: A nap.

V: What's your favorite thing about collaborating with GiGi?
M: Free food and the laughter. We have a good time.

V: What's your favorite DIY site besides Veganville of course.
M: Etsy.

V: What's your favorite Veganville dessert?
M: They are all yummy but my favorite Veganville treat is the "Sugar and Spice" pumpkin bread.

V: Thanx for the smokin' interview, Marcia.
M: Zzz

Please note that Veganville products are made in a smoke free zone. Marcia goes to the next town to inhale and must take a shower before picking up a pastry bag again.
Veganville and Candypants are always ready to create something for your special occasion.

Note: The Noreen cakes are made with Veganville carrot cake, vegan cream cheese icing and the balloons are gluten free - vanilla cupcakes. After we completed the Noreen cake, there was left over cake. We  came up with the AARP membership cake idea at 2:30 in the morning.  
Come back tomorrow and I'll provide the recipes. Just wanted to leave you with a carrot.