Blueberry Hill Cornbread

We are so grateful to live in California where the produce at our local market is bountiful all year long. I am not a gardener, Larry thinks he is, but by the look of the potted plants outside, he tends to kill the earth. 

My late dad grew tomatoes and I would give him a blue ribbon for those "Land of the Giants" zucchinis his garden churned out every year. Between playing tennis, making museum worthy stain glass, (that did win blue ribbons), and almost blowing up the family and the block with his gas barbecue, my dad was a busy guy.

Remember when the blackening of every food imaginable, you know blackened salmon, blackened veggies, blackened tofu was all the rage back in the 80's? My dad started the blackened craze with his gas barbecue. On the day the barbecue gas line almost crucified the neighborhood, my dad managed to blacken a delicious Yves veggie burger and corn on the cob for me. That Yves burger was especially good with my dad's fresh tomatoes. Good thing my dinner cooked up first, before the neighbor spotted the faulty power line. Nobody else got their meaty sandwiches, so no animals were harmed on that executioner's grill.

In New York we had one tree that was vertical to the evil barbecue. It was a crab apple tree. That tree was kind of an asshole, annoying and useless. Even the tree was peeved at it's dead fruit bearing self, and was always trying to rid itself of it's rotten crabby apples. It was Heidi's and my job to pick up the post mortem apples and bag them. I think my mother paid us one penny per fifty croaked apples. Heidi and I were migrant workers in our own backyard. 

Ah the fruits of summer. I could never have whipped this sweet summer cornbread up with those pieces of crappy crabby apples. After five summers of picking and saving Heidi and I were able to purchase a clam of blueberries to feed our growing family of ten.

Blueberry Hill Cornbread
Feeds an entire family headed West

1.5 C of unbleached organic flour
2/3 C coconut sugar
1/2 C Corn meal
1 T baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 1/4 C rice milk
2 T flaxseed mixed with 6 T of water
1/3 C canola oil
3 T coconut oil
2 C fresh blueberries
1 T lemon
1/3 C coconut sugar or 1/4 C of agave.
(1 packet stevia if not sweet enough)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease an 8x8 baking pan. 
Prepare blueberry mixture. Gently toss blueberries with 1 T lemon, 1/3 C coconut  sugar. Set aside.
Combine flour, sugar, cornmeal, baking power and salt in a large bowl. 
In medium bowl combine rice milk or plant milk of your choice with flaxseed slurry, canola oil and 3 T of coconut oil. Add liquid mixture to the flour mixture and mix until blended. Fold in the blueberry mixture. Pour in to prepared pan and bake 35-40 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool 10-15 minutes in pan on rack. Cut slices from pan. 

I suggest that you make this Blueberry Hill Cornbread right now, with no delay! Make this before blueberry season is over you and your family have to head to the hills.

Hugs,

GiGi

Why I Went Missing Chapter 1 and Cremey Basmati Pudding

I told my dad that I would get him anything he wanted to eat, except maybe tortilla chips which can cause choking even on a good day. Those pointed edges can be lethal.

Heidi and I suggested rice pudding. Rice Pudding was our favorite food when were in the joint. I asked Daddy if he was aware that penitentiaries don't serve any food that has sharp edges. Of course he knew, he was an officer of the law.

Anyway, Daddy's eyes lit up at the mention of rice pudding. I searched high and low for vegan rice pudding, not that my dad was a vegan or anything, I just wanted to give it a shot. (I probably shouldn't use the word shot in a story that talks about the can) Why doesn't anybody make vegan rice pudding? I would have been more than happy to make some but my mom had "keep out yellow tape" blocking her kitchen.

So, I wound up buying as many containers of Cozy Shack as I could find. Daddy ate some!

Here is the creamiest rice pudding I have ever had. I made it with basmati rice, coconut milk, agave, coconut oil, cashews and raisins and a pinch of cardamom. It went down a lot smoother than one of those pointy chips. Recipe coming soon.

 
 

Spin the Wheel and Happy Thanksgiving

I guess it was about 6 years ago that my sister Heidi texted me a message similar to this.

You better hurry down to LA the parental unit is on it's last legs.
You might want to say sianara and be on your merry way, since you know... since they are not leaving you anything except maybe some old shoe trees. Oh and that Las Vegas snow globe you wanted.

I had talked to the parental unit just moments before. Both of my parents have husky voices, so when the timber of my dad's voice sounded crypt like and my mom sounded like Foghorn Leghorn I figured their voices were just horser from yelling at each more than usual. Still the shoe trees were worth taking a trip for. Psycho Boy and I jumped in the car and drove 8 hours to the death condo.

We arrived drawn and haggard. Ding dong ding dong. I banged on the door with a shoe tree I clipped on an earlier visit and rang the door bell again. Ding dong. No answer. When I was about to give up and call the coroner, I heard a man yell, "Spin the wheel!" What the hell was Pat Sajak doing in my dead parents living room? I crawled on to their balcony and peaked through the venetian blinds, and there at the dining room table watching a deafening and gargantuan flat screen were two very alive parents eating spaghetti, drinking wine and solving TV hangman.

Since I am fairly thin, I slid through their venetian blinds.

Me: Doesn't anybody answer their doorbell anymore?
Mom and Dad: We knew it was you. Ha ha ha. Now that you are here, we might as well talk about those shoe trees.
Me: No. I am too vulnerable and I have to let Larry in.
Mom and Dad: Hi Larry! While you are here, can you go to T.J.'s for us? Here's the list.

We did not look at the list until we got to T.J.'s. It included 3 Two Buck Chucks and 3 bags of ginger chews, and two salads. We looked all over the meat cold case for the offending chuck meat. A Hawaiian shirted employee pointed us towards the cheap wine section. I guess, alcohol either kills you or preserves you.

So when Heidi texted me about my dad this time, I wasn't sure what to think. My mom confirmed that my elderly dad was doing very poorly and that hospice was in and he was taking morphine for pain. This time they knew we were coming and were happy we came. My dad wasn't that responsive at first, except when I asked if he was comfortable, and he answered, "I make a living." He also sang with Heidi and me several choruses of "Take Me Out To the Ball Game" and "Button Up Your Overcoat." Always the showman, my dad ended the song with," I really mean it!"  My mom is still his main caregiver/entertainer so when I heard her bustling about I crept into my dad's room. My dad sat up, looked down at his hospital bed and exclaimed, "Oyvay", closed his eyes and opened them and added "Gefalt, and Patooey!" The three of us laughed and joked for what seemed like an hour, until my dad faded back to sleep.

Crazy Boy and I left two days later. I was exhausted and hungry the entire trip home. I am not normally a car sleeper, but I do like to nosh on road trips. I slept on and off for half the trip. While dazed and confused we bought these T.J. foods for the way home. Both are equally delicious and comforting.

Although there are times I miss my younger parents, a younger sibling, husband and of course a youthful me, I am grateful this Thanksgiving for all of them being around for as long as they have. Through all the trials and tribulations that have come with a long life, I am even more grateful that my family has maintained the ability to laugh at life's absurdities.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! And much love!
What are you most grateful for?

MoFo Day 4 Repo Man

Yes the road is often paved with good intentions... and shitty karma. My laptop broke, okay that's not the whole truth. Actually my 93 year old dad let's call him- Mr. Repo took my laptop as collateral yesterday. He won't give it back until I promise to take him out for a hot dog. So I have no photos today and no recipes since Mr. Repo dad replaced all my nifty vegan recipes with pictures of Angela Lansbury. My sincere apologies to anybody who is reading. I'll be back on October 5th to veganize Martha. Boy oh boy I just know October 5th is going to be way better than October 4th.  While you are here maybe you can figure out what this lady in the video is saying to me. Thanx in advance.

Sgetti Pie and Day 4 of Engine 2

I think crazy man (a.k.a my husband) is more scared than he's letting on. On day one, I asked him if he was excited about the new plan we were about to embark on, and he said NO! Committed, Yes!  I guess whooping it up and jumping for joy are not Larryisms. Oh, don't get me wrong, Psycho boy can be a real Mr. Funbags when he wants to be, but he's such a Taurus that I often have to prod him along. I'm more a whoopdeedo- let's do it kind of gal. So we started the Engine 2 Plan 3 days ago. If you are not familiar with Engine 2, it's a vegan plan/diet (diet seems so passe) devised by Rip Esselyn a triathlete/fireman. Phenom, Lance Armstrong used this eating plan to train for his last Tour De France. The jacket of the Engine 2 book calls this diet a 28 Day Save-Your- Life- Plan that Lowers Your Cholesterol and Burns Away Pounds. I think that blurb is important to attract readers. Not this reader though. Yes, I'd be happy to burn fat and get lean and mean and build muscle. My cholesterol is good, so is my husband's. He's thin, most people would say I am too, and we are both already vegans. If I lose 5-6 pounds that would be a fringe benefit with no fringe bikinis I promise!!!

So why this decision?
No I am not a cyclist. As a matter of fact I'm an idiot on a bike. I'm not training for a triathlon.
Neither is "have to push him off the couch and drag him to exercise, man".


Top 10 Reasons GiGi is Doing This:
1. I need something to blog about. (No but it sure helps with 28 days worth of blogs).
2. I bake for a living and stray chocolate chips often wind up in my mouth, and on my hips.
3. I bake for a living (I know I said that before) and leftover dough....please see number two (mouth/hips).
4. I bake for a living (there it is again) and I must test each and every frosting to see if it is good enough for my clients. (please see numbers two and three)
5. I have found myself saying, if only I didn't bake, I would not do sugar and flour...hmmm, so why let my baking be a limitation?
6. Speaking of limitations, I've realized some are self imposed, and I am in fact accepting things I can change. I am an ex-competitive athlete and coach. When I see people who are in terrific shape I say, "Eh well good for them. I had my day". Why should my days be numbered?
7. I've had sports related injuries. 3 herniated discs, (one neck, 2 lower back). Blown out knees and 9 years ago loss use of both arms for a year and a half. I walk, but lift weights and do core ball exercises infrequently. I already know what a vegan diet can do for me. I believe if I rid myself of the rest of these toxins I'll be able to work out consistently and without fear and run as well.
8. Family history- my 92 year old dad played semi-pro ball and played all kind of sports all his life. He swam up until a year ago. My mom now in her 80's and former professional dancer played tennis until two years ago. My sister was a runner, and tennis player and now just walks. None of them are on plant based diets. All of them suffer from severe arthritis and back and neck pain. In addition to this my sister suffers from severe migraines. Could you imagine how great they would feel from all those healthy sports if their diet had been/was different? I believe I can eliminate most inflammation by following this plan.
9. I like a good challenge.
10. I want more energy. I work long hours on my feet and am tired of being tired and sleeping away my time off. I want to embrace life.

Please keep up with me on this. I'll let you in on my goals, and Larry's reason for doing this too.

For more information on Engine2 plan please visit:http://engine2diet.com/

Here is what we had for dinner on day 2.
Day one was brown rice penne, marinara sauce, broccoli and nooch.

E2 Sgetti Pie
1 C leftover cooked brown rice pasta (or any whole grain pasta)
2 C broccoli chopped
2 C mushrooms sliced
1 clove garlic
1 vegan sausage sliced and cut in half
1 C E2 approved marinara sauce (sans oil and sugar)
1 tofu drained
1/2 Cup Daiya Mozzarella
1/4 C nutritional yeast
1 T dried oregano
spray oil
sea salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray an 8 inch pie pan and set aside. Spray heavy bottomed fry pan and heat. Add broccoli, and garlic and saute for about six minutes. Add veggie sausage and saute for two minutes. Add shrooms and saute another couple of minutes, add the marina and stir. Meanwhile in a big bowl, crumble the tofu until it is the consistency of ricotta. Add the cooked ingredients to the tofu and mix well. Stir in the nooch and 1/4 cup of the Daiya, and oregano. Empty bowl into prepared pan and press firmly. Go ahead it's fun. Top with remaining Daiya and sprinkle some more nooch if your little heart desires. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Let cool for about 3-4 minutes.

Today is day four.



Feel free to jump in any time. Do you have any goals right now?

I'm Stuffed....Peppers

There is a dizzying array of colors at my local produce market right now. You can walk out of  Berkeley's Monterey Market with two canvas bags filled to the brim with juicy seasonal goodness for under eighteen bucks, maybe twenty. I usually get very excited about a trip to the market but I must be prepared to wear my game face. I must be psyched and in tip top shape. Monterey Market is the Lohmann's of produce. While New York Jews might elbow each other and stampede a Lohmann's for a marked down Balenciaga or Kate Spade bag, Berkeley tie dyed grey haired hippies will squash your Tevas for the purplest plum. And no I don't wear Tevas. My 92 year old dad, Pete does. NO tie dye though. Pete usually dons Brooklyn Dodger Tee and NYPD sweat pants. Don't think I haven't thought about using Dad and his wheelchair as a weapon in the Roman Coliseum of fruits. Yep Pete is sure deadly in his wheel chair but  you know what else...he's  an ex-mucky muck on the NYPD. So watch out  and get outta our way Mr. Jerry Garcia look alike.You over there, drop the honeydew. Pete still remembers the Miranda rights too, or at least something cop like. How 'bout..."drop the radicchio, and nobody gets hurt". Ooh you go Daddy!
Last trip, Pete wasn't with me. I did manage to get away with some yellow peppers, blueberries and strawberries, but it wasn't easy. A pigtailed grandma in lederhosen got a little too close to my peppers and I had to bop her on the suspenders with my recycled Lohmann's bag.

Moral of the story: Violence doesn't pay. I got home and didn't know what the hell to do with the yellow peppers.

I decided to veganize and tweak a vegetarian recipe I googled. Eh. It wouldn't be worth it to give you the recipe but I'd be happy to give you some tweak pointers and an elocution lesson. Say "Pete's Peppers Pointers" three times fast. Now out of our way.

Pete's Peppers Pointers

1. Yellow peppers make perfect containers-boats if you will. Cut vertically. Leave the top and bottom but remove pepper membrane.
2. I think the pepper boats taste better roasted or charred before filled.
3. I used a combo of quinoa, roasted peppers, red onion, scallion, raisins, and pine nuts, and cumin- (none of these were in the recipe prior to the tweak). Any grain will do. I added olive oil and a touch of balsamic. The base works. I think cilantro would have brought it up a notch.
4. Needs lots of flavor and seasoning.
5. For leftovers we drizzled olive oil and sprinkled Daiya over the top. It works.
6. I think Black Forbidden rice inside the yellow peppers would give it a Gothic twist for a special occasion.

Do you have a favorite way to cook yellow peppers? I'm stuffed.

Carmine? Carmine Who?

I really didn't know. I swear. But first I have to tell you a little story, to explain away my stupidity.

When my dad and mom whisked us away from our beloved Brooklyn to live in the land of manicured lawns and jockey statues and 5 million dollar gold nativity scenes, they were good intentioned. Fresh air was on their mind. My dad, a Jewish Head Honcho on the NYPD, could never have guessed who his neighbors would be. Marian the Jesus Freak with the long polyester skirt and 11 inch crucifix necklace, her husband Dudley who mowed their lawn in a shirt and tie and her 2 future mass murderer children, (one shot a hole through my parents dining room wall and hid a cat in their gas barbecue), lived on one side. Carmine, the small town mafia crook and his brood lived on the other side. Marian religiously tried to convert my dad. (I know stupid joke). Carmine on the other hand would give you the shirt off his back which was often taken from someone else's back. Still he was generous and he and my dad became fast pals except when Carmine's other pals were there, (he didn't want to look like a snitch). So that was Carmine. Carmine had a son named Carmine Jr. Carmine's grand daughter was  named Carmella. And lots of the their friends were also named Carmine and Carmine Jr. Long Island in fact was infested with Carmines.

Carmine Example

I know. I know you probably found out all about a different "carmine" in HS biology class. Suffice it to say, I was elsewhere. So today, yes today, (the total shame), I found out that Carmine the ingredient found in some cosmetics is not just an Italian ingredient. Carmine is a pigment prepared by boiling dried insects in water. Other ingredients are added to precipitate the coloring process. Ingredients, like egg whites, fish shells and gelatin are often used to bring out the red. I mean who knew-everybody but me apparently. I usually purchase cosmetics that are labeled vegan or at the very least say no animal testing. Well Marian, if I find Carmine, (wait in my cosmetics... (wait does that mean Carmine is a cross dresser?) I'll just have to convert.
Here are some beautiful and economical vegan cosmetics that keep there distance from Carmine. Check them out. They'll make you look hot.

From Brazen Cosmetics -I love this! "Screw Cupid"

or their sizzling pot of red...

Brazen.etsy.com



Passionate about purple and animals- check  out mineral love's array of shadows

Without Carmine you can pucker up those vegan lips with awesome lip picks like EpicallyEpicSoap's Noir

or Bohemian Beetnick's Cabernet.

You can keep that pledge to take off that makeup before you go to sleep with Daisyware's super gentle vegan eye makeup remover.

Nighty-night dolls!

Zzz I'm back!

Zzz. Ooh sorry, didn't know you were here. I'm here because I'm not all there. You are probably here because you're expecting another contest. Hey not so fast. I'm pooped. Or you're here because you think I'm about to share some inside dope on the nefarious egg industry. Nah, sorry I won't be standing on my clear and free non-toxic soap box today. Hey maybe you even swung by to pick up a hot new recipe for a frozen dessert, (dontcha like how I combined the two temperatures?) God knows you could have stopped by for such mind boggling wit and joi de vivre! Bahaha.
I appreciate your skipping by, but really there's nothing happening today.Truth is since I've come back from taking a delightful trip to L.A. and visiting with the Veganville judges, I've been having some difficulty assimilating back into society. True, I wasn't assimilated before I left but at least I stood around the edges. Worse even, I've suffered blogger blank. I've been super duper busy since I've come home to Veganville and any time I've had a free moment well...I sleep...standing up. Please come back and visit I promise to share some nifty new recipes as soon as I get some shuteye!

Veganville Voopee Winner Announced

I am in beautiful Southern California visiting the judges of the first annual, "I Love Voopee Pies Contest".
I think I need a prize.
There were entrants from all over the world and lots of drool worthy flavors to choose from. This was no easy task for the judges. I did do thorough background checks on each of the judges before hiring them.

Judge number one-  91 year old ex - big wig, (Deputy Inspector on the N.Y.P.D.), WW II Vet, Edgar Cayce advocate, Semi - Pro athlete smarty pants, Emcee, (Stand Up) and my Daddy.

Judge number two- an ex - chorus girl, singer, immigrant, hospital volunteer worker, mystery reader,  mystery club president, and ex - doubles player. (I was of course suspect of this applicant's past, but since Mommy is married to an ex cop she met on a raid, I accepted her judge's application.)

Judge number three is a bi - polar pianist who paid me off.

Everything was done fair and square and there were hours of deliberation. Unfortuanately there was a leak and one of the contestants found out who the winner was before the winner was even announced. I found this out on FB. Yes, Heidi, a contestant from Southern California, is quite disgruntled and believes the judges should be institutionalized for not voting for her flavors. Although I agree with Heidi about institutionalizing the judges, it would not be for their supreme judging abilities. Perhaps I should not let my sister Heidi enter my contests any more. I don't know, there was a time when Heidi was the only contestant, so I think I have to let her play.
Anyway, this contest was not fixed!

My judges numbered their ballots vertically and I read aloud each flavor. Next to the number they wrote NG (no good), F (fair), E (excellent). We weened down the applicants and then there was an argument about their favorites. Judge 1 and 2 asked why no one had entered any chardonnay or burgundy flavored voopee pies? (Clear winners with these two judges.)

All in all the contest was a great success. Drumroll please!!!
Winner of the first annual Voopee Pie contest is Sherry a vegan blogger and jewelry maker from Chicago with her entry- Chocolate - Raspberry!!! Yay Sherry!!!
Sherry will receive a box of Veganville Voopee Pies in her choice of flavor.
You can check out Sherry's awesome blog at: http://www.exploitsofaveganwannabe.com/


Thank you all for playing!!! You all had such great flavor choices that if I were judging I would have awarded you all a prize. I suspect lots of your flavors will show up in Veganville Voopeeland.

Hugs,
GiGi
President of Veganville

I Bet You'll Love These Cupcakes

I never learned to play Go Fish, or Old Maid. My dad taught us black jack and "pisha pasha" the Yiddish name for the card game War. As a child I read the dictionary and played massive amounts of ping pong so by the time I was ten it was only natural that I utilize those talents by betting on 21 games, and throwing spelling bees.

Granted, I was never a girl scout or a brownie but when troupe 753 was going to a dude ranch for a weekend they asked 11 year old GiGi to go. Yee haw! My parents gave me some money and I guess they expected me to ride them there horsies and breathe some country air. I never saw the light of day and lost all their money playing pinball and betting on knock hockey - there was no ping pong - or else I would have come home with Mom and Dad's next mortgage payment.

My uncle J.  a Harvard grad, did time in Sing Sing for embezzling. My great grandmother baked lemon meringue pies for the customers in my great grandfather's gambling house. My sisters ex-husbands, and fiancees have been hunted down by bookies and bookies have called her home to ask if she wanted to bet in tandem with her beaus. My one husband wound up tens of thousands of dollars in debt spending money and betting on jobs that never materialized. 24 years ago I quit smoking 2.5 packs a day on a bet. I'll look the other way when we drive by the stinky dilapidated San Pablo Bingo parlor. It's just too enticing. I always liked the B-52s. I bet you didn't know that Swedish Fish were vegan! Go fish!

These are uber kid friendly and great for summer fun!

And yep I pinkie bet you can't eat just one.

Please don't jump ship after that ridiculous poem.

Make your standard Vegan Vanilla cupcake. Reach into the Veganville archives and you'll find one. Pour the batter into navy or some sort of blue hue cupcake liner.

Frosting and Decorating

1 Stick of Earth Balance (room temp)

2 T vegan shortening

3.5 C  confectioner's sugar

1 T-1/4 C of rice milk, or soy or hemp or almond

1 1/2 tsp non- alcoholic vanilla or flavoring of your choice

 3- 5 drops blue food coloring

several toothpicks or a thin knife

Swedish Fish, of course

Cream the Earth Balance and the shortening together until fluffy. Add the confectioner's sugar and beat for about 3 minutes. Add rice milk, and flavoring and beat another 5-7 minutes until fluffy. Remove bowl from stand, or mixer from bowl.

With a toothpick take a small amount of coloring and swirl it into the frosting. Trust me a small amount takes you a long way. Throw out the toothpick and use a spoon to mix the color into the frosting until thoroughly combined. If you want a deeper blue, repeat the process using a fresh toothpick each time. Do not, I repeat do not, frost a warm cupcake or cake for that matter EVER. Wait until the cupcakes are cool.

Frost and top with 1 Swedish fishy per cupcake. Bingo! It's a winner. They are perfect to eat while hanging with your toothless pals at OTB. Just saying.

Shrinkage

12 days, 3.5 pounds. Still, I'm a long way from Tipperary. I might walk there today. Yes, I've traded cupcakes for cruciferous veggies and no, it's not the freakin' same.Why all the hoopla about my weight? To the average eye I might not look gigantic but friends, clothes, scales and mirrors notice. I'm a little person not little as in the  politically correct word for midget or dwarf, but little, as in petite.True, I am not exempt from starring in a circus sideshow by virtue of my size, but this blog is not about that. So there! Although, truthfully I'm not really quite sure what this blog is about .
Shrinkage, bloat? Okay. Over the years my elderly parents have shrunk quite a bit. I'm going to visit them next week and I can't wait to see them and hold them in the palm of my hand and sing "itsy bitsy parents".... They are just so cute.

 Here's a picture of them taken together last March.

My mother has just reminded me that their condo has very narrow doorways. In preparation I bring you non-caloric cupcake fashion. Now what to do about my April 18th birthday cake? Any suggestions?

Vegan Cupcakes! by Vegan Chick featuring Wildfox Couture tops

Items in this set:
Wildfox Couture - Marie Antoinette - Ripped Rock Tee - Shop Now, $77
CUPCAKE CUFF TEE in Tops Other at Sourpuss Clothing, $29
Cupcake Cult by Poizen Industries - 'Wired' Print Skinny Fit T-Shirt..., 18 GBP
Knitted Cupcake Jumper, $80
Fashion Cupcake Tee, $16

Warning all systems...warning...

I'm pretty much like my computer, when things go haywire I have a tendency to shut down. I look like my cat when she is stalking a defenseless rodent. My week has been littered with technological road kill. It was a week that seemed so promising so springlike!

My parents gifted me with new super powered mixer! I found a new program for my blog. I was filled with creativity and hope.

As my creativity flourished, my computer crashed continuously.

I spent hours upon hours attempting to export photos from a new nifty web site. I finally got them to my site. They were Lilliputian sized and not recognizable no matter how close my nose was to the screen.

Well, I thought if I can't blog I'll mix. I opened the instruction manual to find warnings of death on every page. Do not use if there is no three prong outlet. Warning. Warning. I wasn't sure I wanted to risk my life for a vegan key lime pie.

Larry insisted I was safe. This from a man I caught prying toast out of a plugged in toaster with a metal fork.

My mom called me a scaredy cat. Were Larry and my mom in cahoots? Probably not, I reasoned. Is it because my mom is fearless and believes I should take a risk? Is this a crazy suggestion from the same woman who crossed international boundaries without a passport by crawling under a table. I remembered that besides tapioca my mom's biggest fear is taking something back to a department store.

This song is for my mom and Larry.

http://