MoFo Day 31 Post 26 What Can I Say?!

But Boo! And Well ..

It has been a journey worth taking. I have so appreciated meeting all of you. Thank you for reading and commenting and laughing with me. It has been an absolute joy to read other blogs and get to hang out with more of the vegan community.

A Journey is Nothing If I Don't Remain Teachable
The Bump in the Road- Stupid camera acts out 
The Aha- Take Pics of Leftovers

The Bump In the Road- Ice Creme Maker is Very Mean
The Aha- Use As Blender

The Bump in the Road- Raw Food Is Not the Same As Baked. It Is Not Always As Pretty.
The Aha- I Can Bake and I Don't Have to Eat It, But Raw Does Taste Good!

The Mime- Know when to be silent and Detach With Love, know when to stand up for your rights even though it could make you feel a lot of raw emotions.

Count Your Victories

1. 26 Posts

2. Stayed on the E2 Plan Throughout MoFo

3. Read A Trillion Blogs

4. Have Not Used That Many Hyperboles

5. I Married the Right Guy!

6. We Are Still Married After MoFo

The Brownie we are holding is Adapted From Gratitude Cafe's Marbled Fudge Brownie.

Look forward to our continued journey. See you in November. After I snooze.

In Gratitude and Love,

GiGi 

MoFo Day 30 Post 25 And the Secret Ingredient Is....Tropical ...

For Today's MoFo Iron Chef Challenge Secret Ingredients please view Above Video!

GiGi and Her Team, (her Crazy Boy Husband-videographer and carrot shredder), have decided to make TROPICAL TROUBLE VOOPEE PIES.
Here is a little ditty to go with the recipe and photos.

It's Not a cake

It's Not a Cookie

It's Got a Middle

It's For a Vegan

So It's Called a Voopee

Tropical Voopee Pies Pre Oven and Pre Frig

 

Hey these are the perfect cookie to have when you are craving an island get away!!

2 Sticks Earth Balance softened
1 Cup Organic Brown Sugar
1 C Vegan Organic Sugar
¼ C water mixed with 1 T Ener-G Egg Replacer (or if you can't stand this stuff, 1 flax slurry)
1 tsp non-alcoholic vanilla or 1 tsp coconut flavoring
2 1/4 C unbleached flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
2 C rolled oats
1.5 C grated carrots
1 C dried pineapple (with sugar) chopped ( about 5 dried pineapple rings chopped finely)
1/2 C macadamia nuts (chopped finely too). You can use more but those babies are pricey
1/2 C dried chopped papaya optional ( I opted out... I couldn't find any anywhere)

 Preheat Oven to 350. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Cream together Earth Balance and both sugars on medium speed until fluffy. Add egg replacer (or flax slurry) and vanilla and mix until combined. Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder and spices in separate bowl. Add gradually to Earth balance mix and mix until combined. Mix in oats, carrots and pineapple and macadamias (papaya if using) until just blended. Use medium size ice cream scoop to scoop into balls and place 2 inches apart on baking sheets. Refrigerate for an hour before baking. Bake  around 20-25 minutes until lightly browned. Cool completely before filling.


Vegan coconut cream cheez frosting

1 stick Earth Balance (softened)
4 oz. Tofutti (softened)
3 C vegan powdered sugar
1 tsp non-alcoholic vanilla
2-3 T rice milk or coconut milk
1/2 C unsweetened shredded coconut


Cream Earth Balance with Tofutti. Beat in confectioner’s sugar a cup at a time. Remember to scrape down the sides in between. Add vanilla and then add rice or coconut milk..

When the cookies are completely cool, spread about 1 T of vegan cream cheese frosting on the bottom of one cookie and then sandwich it together with another.

My Bags Are Packed Cookie

 

I'm Ready To Go Cookie With Rice Milk

Ode to A Tropical Trip

Yep I think a Tropical Trip is in the cards right After MoFo 31. Who else needs a vacation here? Where do you want to run away to?

I bid you good eating.

MoFo Day 29 Post 24 Cheerful Little Earful

I will definitely meet the MoFo Iron Chef deadline this week. Yay. Will post it later today. We interrupt this chatty happy go, (oh lucky doesn't fit), happy go mucky MoFo blog to bring you GiGi's sad face blog. Yep once every other full moon I switch up the apron for a protest sign and use this space as a tiny platform.

You see, Crazy boy and I were invited to this big Halloween bash that our friends were giving. They've been planning it for three weeks. Invites, decorations, dance floor, tons of food. Yep tons of food except nothing for the vegans. I received a stressed out call today while I was working.
Hostess: I'm totally stressed. Just realized that I made four sauces and all of them have yogurt, and I said to myself, GiGi and Larry won't eat that. Should I just keep some of the beets out for you?" 
GiGi: Well did you get any vegan ice cream?
Hostess: Um no.
GiGi: So should we bring our own food?
Hostess: Yup.
GiGi: Well we better win best effing costume at least! Hahaha.

Needless to say said friends were going out to run errands and still didn't ask, "Hey what can we get you guys?"

Considering that Crazy boy and I have an open house policy and friends are always here chowing down, and that we will accommodate special dietary concerns like gluten free, sugar free, and we always ask everybody if there is any food that they won't eat or are allergic too, this lack of hospitality knocked the wind out of me. I asked three times in the last few weeks if I could bring anything. The answer was, just bring yourselves. (Subtext: and freaking starve to death you annoying vegans.) The hostesses were even invited over to our house this past Friday evening but declined since they were whipping up a storm, uh not for any vegans though.

Now to the bullet points:

• Veganism is not an anathema. Vegans don't make these food choices to stress you out.
• These vegans have chosen to live this way because we respect all animals and don't believe animals were put on this earth for our consumption. Isn't there enough violence in the world?
• With the exception of my few in person vegan friends, none of my friends have ever asked why we have chosen to live our lives this way.
• With all honesty, most of my friends have made a concerted effort to accommodate us and have made beautiful meals, or even tacos and hummus, but none of them really know why we are vegans. We appreciate the meals so much, but wish you knew more about us and the why's of veganism. Perhaps you would be able to make more informed choices.
• Oh and the next time you ask a vegan over, we don't expect you to make something fancy shmancy for us from one of our fancy cooking blogs, but we'll happily make that for you. 
• Why not visit your local Whole Foods and pick some already prepared grains from the salad bar, serve with premade baba ganoush and chips and we're good to go.
• Or just ask. Yep just ask your pain in the ass vegan friends, something like, "Would you like anything special?"

I'll probably give you the standard answer I've been giving for forty years. (Vegan for 7, the remainder veggie). "I'll be fine with just a baked potato, some sea salt, and a tossed salad with vinegar. Yep don't wanna cause any trouble, ma'am. One carrot is fine."

As Colleen Patrick Goudreau says, I obviously need to raise the bar.
If you've got a couple of minutes, check out this amazing video from Colleen called "From Excusitarian to Vegan."


I'll be back in a couple with some cookies and rice milk, I promise.
Thanks for listening.

MoFo Day 28 Post 23 Squash and the Alphabet

I had a relatively easy morning in the Veganville Kitchen, so I decided to catch up on reading through the MoFo blog roll. Contrary to my blog post tangents I really do think pretty linear. I must go through each post alphabetically and not skip around. It is day 28 of MoFo and I just got through the "T's". There are like a thousand blogs that begin with the word, "The". My eyes are tired, and it makes me looks shifty.

If everybody is going through the blog roll alphabetically like I am, I sure hope they get to mine. Getting to the" V's" after all the "The's" might not happen til December for some readers. Could explain the lack of new followers I'm getting. My blog title begins with a "V'! Oh I'm f*cked. So do you think I should change Veganville to Eganville for next year's MoFo? Is it to late to do it now? Now instead of saying "Welcome to Veganville", I can say, "Welcome to Eganville", and it'll sound all cockney like. Now you try it.

Hey do you guys know about pininterest? My buddies over on my Veganetsy team just told me about this site about 1 month ago. I'm probably late to the party. You can search all these cool pics there and you'll be led to the creators of the cool pics blog sites. Anyway that's how I found a recipe that I adapted below. I never would have found one of the recipes if it wasn't for Pininterest, because the site is not all vegan, just this recipe. As a matter of fact right above the recipe on this blog there's a picture of a rodeo the blogger went to. Yuk. I might have to grab some of my activist cronies and go picket her blog. The recipe was decent enough to swipe. My pics came out suckaroo. I made squash fries too, adapted from another blog. The only thing I copied, (there I said it), was her cutting technique. So there. No linkie for her.


Also I'm a pretty compassionate person, but right now I just want to smack my freakin' camera. I made this big ass dinner and now I have to use a stock squash photo and give you a link to rodeo gal's blog.

I will add a cute pic of my cat. Crazy boy took this pic of Zuule before the camera went Sybil on me.

Above is the stock pic for the squash fries I made...

Squash Fries
1 medium size squash
Gomasio to taste
Himalayan sea salt
canola spray

Preheat oven to 425. Line a cookie tray with foil and spray that too.Using a kitchen peeler, peel away the squash skin. Using a sharp knife, cut your squash in half lengthwise, and scoop out the seeds in the middle. Cut each half in halves, (width wise), so you are left with four equal sized parts. Then cut matchsticks out of the butternut squash so they look like real live French fries. Toss into a shallow bowl and spray. Add the gomasio and sea salt and toss to coat. Put butternut squash fries in a single layer on a tin foil lined cookie sheet for about 35-40 minutes. Flip fries over halfway through cooking time.

Here's the link to the sandwich I made. I changed a few things up. I substituted regular non-alcohol Dijon for dry mustard, pomegranate wine vinegar for white vinegar, and replaced sugar with agave.
Next time I would definitely add avocado, fried onions and sprouts to this sandwich and switch up the bread we used. Otherwise it makes for pretty good vegan BBQ.


Oh and here's Zuule looking through the window at Daddy!

I'm very photogenic Mommy, too bad your food isn't!

MoFo Day 27 Post? Liebster Award Show Part 2. The Winners!

If you missed the first half or tuned in late to the 5th Leibster Awards Show, it is taped, (please see our previous post before viewing Part 2 Below).

Click on this video for part 2. The winners!!!

A big thank you goes out to Amanda for passing on the the Leibster Award to me. She cooks up some lovely food stuffs like- black and white quinoa for breakfast, kale and avocado salad, Thai cuisine and more. Check out these recipes and more at Newman Improved 

Leibster Award is a Pay it Forward Award that originated in Germany. Winners, if you get a moment to thank the giver, um... that would be me :) and then choose 3-5 bloggers to pass the award onto and then notify them by posting in their blog comments.

The Winners as noted in the video and Congratulations to: (in no particular order).

Natalie from Angst Loves Spinach. In addition to having great taste in music, (we both love Evanescence and the pianist Lang Lang), Natalie sets the score with humor, and a delightful honest conversational writing style. She'll tell you why her man Mister and her cat Angst like or don't like the meal she just whipped up. Much of her culinary journey is punctuated with music. Her pastas always look especially fab to me.


Fattopotamus From Fattopotomus hails all the way from Australia. I don't know if Fattopotomus has another name, she doesn't say so in her profile. She does say, she is overweight and a sometimes roller derby hopeful. "F" cracks me up, really! She whips up faker tuna casseroles, caramel tarts and my personal favorite burger cupcakes and cookie fries. Vegan, of course. "F" 's significant other is featured too, he's Mr. Pants. 

And last but certainly not least is that crazy ass but super sweet Cara from over at Fork and Beans. I believe this is Cara's 56th Liebster Award, (I only have two). After veganizing every Halloween candy known to the human race, Cara switched over to crudites and apps, (as they say in the biz). Yesterday I reserved a plot in her carrot and parsnip graveyard. Two plots actually, right by the broccoli tree. Today, I kid you not, Cara made roaches from dates.

Applause! Applause!

MoFo Day 23 The Inspiration to Continue to the Iron MoFo Challenge

Yes, sometimes the greatest inspiration comes from someone you don't know that well :) I think I will add her to my speed dial now.

I am so elated after that phone call, that I can now go on, and make this award winning candy. I am so inspired that I have included this week's MoFo secret ingredient in the candy. Shhhhh. Coconut! Don't ask me why but this tastes remarkably like chocolate caramel. Wowie.

Award Winning Raw Candy
4 pitted dates

1/3 C coconut oil, melted or room temperature
3/4 C cocoa powder
1/2 C Agave


Filling


1 T raw peanut butter
2 T almond butter
2 tsp non-alcoholic  vanilla
2 T agave

cacao nibs
shredded  unsweetened coconut


Directions:

1. Combine dates and coconut oil in a small bowl and let soak for 30 minutes.
2. Transfer to food processor and add cocoa powder, 1/2 cup agave and process until very smooth.
3. In a separate bowl, combine peanut butter and almond butter, vanilla and 2 tbsp agave and mix well. (this is the filling) 
4. Place 12 mini muffin cups on a large plate. Fill each cup about halfway full with the chocolate mixture. Gently spread about 1 teaspoon peanut butter in each cup.
5. Top cups with the remaining chocolate, covering the peanut butter completely. Variation: I covered some with coconut and topped with cacao nibs, so I would have a candy assortment.
6. Chill the cups in the freezer for about 2 hours before serving.

While you are waiting for the candy to chill, you can chow down on something else, write your acceptance speech or call another toll free number. Thanx for reading, viewing, etc.

MoFo Day 23 Is My Visitor Fried or Baked?

The last time I made a polenta dish Martha S. that's right "S"as in Stewart came over to "help". I thought about giving her another chance tonight, yeah for like 2 seconds I thought about it. Do you remember how Martha left me to do all the heavy prep work while she disappeared into my bathroom? I can always tell when a guest has been snooping in my medicine cabinet, (ahem ahem), Martha.
Without further ado. Tonight's recipe..
Ding dong
Excuse me, reader. I'll bring you this kick ass recipe in a minute.

GiGi: Who is it?
Voice: Trick or Treat.
GiGi: You're early. I'm not opening the door.
Voice. Trick or Treat. Smell my sheet. It's been air dried in lavender.
GiGi: Oh no is that you Martha? What did you come dressed as... dental floss? (see earlier post where Martha suggests cutting polenta with dental floss)

(GiGi looks through peep hole)

Martha: Very funny,GiGi. I brought you something.

GiGi: Martha you know I don't drink. Oh. Just hand it under the door.

Martha: That's not very hospitable. What are you making?

GiGi: Um. Vegan Parmesan Polenta Fries with dipping sauce. Colorful Salad. And..

Martha: Polenta Fries?

GiGi: Yes. Now go away.

Martha: That's my recipe.

GiGi: No it's not.

Martha: Yes it is.

GiGI: Is not.

Martha: Is too.

GiGi: Is not.

Martha: Too.

GiGi: Not.

Martha: What? No dessert.
GiGi: There is dessert. But I'm going to post that tomorrow. You took up too much time.

Martha: Did not.

GiGi: Did too.

Martha: Not .

GiGi: I can't stand at this peep hole any longer.
Martha: Well. If you feel that way, GiGi.
GiGi: I do.
Martha: Oh.
GiGi: Bye.
Martha: Bye.

Sorry everybody.

Baked Polenta Fries My Way

1 tube (18 ounces) plain prepared polenta

canola oil spray
2-3 T nooch
2 tsp dried oregano
sea salt to tasteDirections

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Line a baking pan with parchment paper and spray with canola oil. Unwrap and cut tube of polenta in half crosswise, (no need to use dental floss). Then cut each half lengthwise into 8 wedges.


2. Place polenta wedges on baking sheet; season with salt and pepper, and turn gently and spray again to coat with oil. Arrange wedges in a single layer. Sprinkle with nooch, sea salt and oregano.


3.Bake, turning once with a thin metal spatula, until golden and crisp, about 55 minutes. Serve with marinara or dressing or dipping sauce and salad.

Salad with fresh beets from my friend Mo's sis' garden

Hey Remember those Mozz Stix from Days of Yore... These taste surprisingly similar, but with no fat, no fried and cruelty free. I'll be back tomorrow with some dessert. Martha will be happy. Thanx for stopping by.

MoFo 20 Another Quake but No Cake

I didn't feel the first earthquake today. Me and crazy boy were on a walk when a jeweler came out of his store and told us there was a jolt. We weren't home 20 minutes from dinner out at Herbivore in Berkeley when our building shook like a roller coaster. We both had shwarma wraps and salads at Herbivore. I had seitan. Larry had the un-chicken. The wraps were good, nothing we couldn't duplicate at home, but what if it was a real earthquake? What if that seitan shwarma wrap was my last vegan supper this time around? I'd be pissed. It's pretty sad that some people can only down jello before they go. I know jello isn't vegan, but really who wants even the jello vegan stand-in  kanten or agar agar as their last meal. Sure kanten can be pretty  and colorful but a last meal it does not make!

Time Magazine did a photo essay a while back, where famous chefs gave a brief description of what they would like their last meal to be. They were photographed with part of the meal the meal they would choose. I was appalled to see how gamey and cruel their favorite meals were. One chef was pictured with a rifle. One was pictured with a pig. Incredibly sad. 

There is an entire website dedicated to death row inmates' last meals. Vending machine sodas, and corn chips are often included in their requests. One inmate requested two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I didn't expect any of these inmates to be vegans, but I didn't expect the chefs to be so non chalant about their choices either.

What would I choose when there are so many kind choices?  I know! I'd like the- hell I'd like the  vegan Caesar salad to start, please. Hell, Caesar. Gee, I hope this meal never ends ;) Hmmm. I'll have to think about the rest of this last meal. This is definitely food for thought.

Isn't this just the perfect icebreaker for your next Halloween party? What would you choose for your last meal?

MoFo 19 Masquerade Balls

My friend Molly just asked if I had a sizeometer on my blog. All food blogs should have sizeometers. Don't you think? I like to calibrate things. I'd really love to know how many pounds of almond butter, and dates I've downed since I've started MoFo. I'm a raw foodist trapped in a cooked vegan's body. The dehydrating trips me up though.  I don't own a dehydrator. Why? I don't want everything I make to look like prunes.
 In addition to salads and raw veggies, I make balls. I make balls in my food processor. Add any kind of nuts with some dates and some agave to your food processor, process to a paste. Spatula out. Scoop up the paste and roll  and you got your self some balls. I'm eating so much of these cylindrical beasts that I'm turning into a nut ball. Now after the sizeometer is finished measuring the almond butter and dates, it will be the sizeometer's job to measure the balls.  
Molly just texted me to tell me that a sizeometer is really a blog feature that basically counts the number of people who read your blog and then a sizograph tells you where they are from. It is the same thing as the "stats" feature on blogger. I just checked my stats. Yay.
Big shout out to my one reader Solveig, in Antarctica.

You can find the recipe here, I switched up the brown sugar for a bit of agave, and added more dates, I think you could probably cut the brown sugar completely and keep the original date amount and it would work just fine...but that's up to you Solveig :)





MoFo 18 Different Bloats for Different Folks

You know that little avatar picture of me? That's right. The blogger picture... the one where I'm wearing an apron. The one that looks like I'm a reflection in a fun house mirror? My mommy hates that picture. I tell her if she didn't take all those wonky valley of the doll vitamins when I was a mere seedling maybe I wouldn't look that way. "Not funny Gi!" she says, which takes me back to the picture. It looks like I'm not feeling that great in that picture. How are all the Mofo bloggers feeling anyway? Digestion tract wise? There's a lot of sugar going on in blogger land for sure. Lots of Halloween candy. Lots of cakes, lots of bean things, tacos, stews, not to mention raw foods and cruciferous casseroles. There was no late night post from me last night because I had soup bloat. I will post two times today.

Important info for new vegans. Beano is not, I repeat (get it hahaha-repeat/never mind), NOT vegan! It is made from fish gelatin. Ugh.

For those situations where you need a little extra digestive help, try Bean-zyme, which is a vegan form of Beano. The cartoon below has nothing to do with bloat, it's a happy vegan cartoon. Here's to a happy digestive tract today. So how you feeling bloggers? And did anyone cut you out of their will today?

PS I love you, Mommy!
PSS thanx crazy boy for the awesome title

MoFo 17 Is This Soup Godot or To Stay?

I've been bedridden for almost two days. I was courageous enough to scuff to the kitchen and make that ice cream and ugly cake I told you about. Crazy boy is making me vegan chicken noodle soup. It must be Godot soup or some existentialist plot. I am very grateful that Psycho boy has taken it upon himself to make this cure all, but this is killing me. First he didn't have enough broth, so he had to run out to his 4th store to get it. He announces each action, like, "now I'm cutting the carrots into semi-circles." He ends each statement with a question, like, now I'm caramelizing the onion, okay? Okay. Okay already. He has just announced "I bet the longer this sits, the better it tastes". How about the longer I sit the longer I fast? OMG this has now evolved into the War and Peace of soups. Never mind Austria, I might have to find Napoleon to invade the kitchen. Now Psycho Boy wants me to look at the soup while he's oohing and aahing, " look how the rice pasta thickens it, ooh we might need some Himalaya salt, ah how 'bout some nooch?" Yay. It's Ready. And I'm feeling better and I'm not in a holding cell! Let me tell you, this soup was well worth the wait...just like my crazy boy, well worth the wait!

Is This Soup Godot or To Stay? Larry's Soup that He Learned From Me only Slow Cooked

3 boxes of 16oz. vegan broth
1/2 onion cut in semi circles according to PB
2 C carrots- Larry likes semi circles
3 stalks celery for taste not chopped (GiGi has an aversion to cooked celery)
5 cloves of garlic minced
2 boxes of TJ Chick-Un Strips- chunked
1/2 box of rice spaghetti
about 3 C spinach
sea salt
21 salute
nooch to taste
canola spray

Spray heavy bottomed pan with canola spray (or use 2 T canola oil and heat pan) add onion, carrots and saute beyond translucent but not quite caramelized. Add garlic (might have to spray more at this point). Add Chick-Un Strips and cook for a couple of more minutes. Add broth. Season to taste. Bring to a boil and add pasta and cook according to package directions. Add spinach during last minute of cooking time. This all in all should be a rather quick soup to make. I feel better already.

Chick-un Noodle Soup

MoFo Day 15 A Blast From MoFo Past And Week In Review

Two days ago I posted a video that looked good before I posted it. On further inspection, I realized that the video is quite dark, which probably left you in the dark. Last night I had ten of my besties over for a dessert night. There is one veggie and one vegan amongst them. Of course I wish all of my friends were vegan for many reasons. We vegans love to take pictures of food but since I was busy trying to force the new ice cream maker to work, nobody thought to take pics of all the desserts I had slaved over. My friend Darcy whipped out her iPhone, but I don't know where she is right now and I must write this blog.

Mofo week in Compendium:
1. One blurry video of GiGi.
2. One crazy blog that I rapped on because Kittee the Cake maker to the Stars told me to.
3. Cream Cheez Cherry Brownies with no pics.
4. Date Nut Chocolate Nib Balls no pics just hearsay.
5. A demented ice cream maker that makes milk shakes.
6. I realize I should have hired a photographer instead of buying an ice cream maker.

Where Am I Going This Week?
1. Crystal clear videos
2. No more other blogger challenges for me! I walk to the beat of my own dumber.
3. I will track down Darcy and for next week's girls night, I will insist that everybody brings a camera or they will be refused entrance.
4. More date nut balls, raw food, another Martha experience, vegan chicken stuff. I think.
5. Freaking ice cream. I will get this to work, this cannot be the baine marie of my existence.
6. GiGi will have new strong non-mealy mouth boundaries. Nobody eats until everything is plated and shot!
7. I will be well rested.

Since we have experienced technical difficulties this week, here is a blast from last year's MoFo past.
Follow this linky dink for everything you ever wanted to know about Paella.
I bid you a good night.

Mofo 14 Mofo Celebrates Hump Day the Kittee Way

Hey hey hey baby... I gotta free ride and I don't have to cook.
I'm not gonna post.
I can shelf the vegan cookie book and
Chuck the seitan roast.
Don't need no food porn.
Yep I'm gonna coast.
Cuz gonna celebrate me some Mofo Hump Day.
Yep cuz Kittee Bee said it's okay.
If I just give you a link to some vegan rapper with big sun glasses
Who wears these gemmy sweaters and some real teased up bouff
Yep we're some real vegan bad asses. And yep baby baby baby that there's the big V truth.

Here are the lyrics I'm supposed to post, written by vegan jam master and creator of the ubiquitous Gem sweater (seen above)-

Leslie Hall:   and for some reason I can't get the video to upload...she's pretty funny, just check out her pic...Happy Hump Day!!!



I eat the finest cuisines, in the finest of places Stuff my mouth full and always say thank you. But if it's raised in a cage, and it can't even move, if it's hormone filled and in a bad mood. I'm gonna pass on that. Reach for something better. The only milk I'll drink comes from the nipple of a soy bean. Veggies make you live forever, and they seem to taste much better. when they're cooked and grown with love. So give a chef who knows what's up a hug. Momma just can't seem to get it, Papa he just rolls his eyes. When I tell them I'm much healthier, they just say that it's all lies. But beans, nuts, fruits and veggies can really fill the belly. Get you vitamins you need, shiny hair and extra speed. Don't take that meat-wich any further, I want a marinated, deep fried, hand-tied mushroom burger. I like it! We gotta stand strong for our feathered furry sometimes scaly animal friends and their little babies. 'Cuz I wouldn't want to live in a cage in a dark warehouse killed at an early age. Pumped full of hormones, sleeping in my feces. Never met my mother, raised by machines. Never get sunshine never get green, but that's just me. [That girl loves fruit leather.] So ask us what we're eating. Delicious and repeating, fruits and veggies are so nice. With a slice of tempeh, yes, I'll have that twice. Don't forget the legumes!



See ya once I get over the hump. Are you as confused as I am?

Mofo 13 Faker Feta With Kalamata Olives and other Stuff

Now that that is settled,(See video above) the manufacturer's directions tell me I need to leave the barrel in the freezer for 16 hours. 16 hours? 16 hours? I read the info about the 16 hours after I read the recipe booklet that said the ice cream would take 2 hours to sit in the freezer. Now that's 18 hours. There goes my big big plan of eating ice cream for dinner.

There is no way me and crazy boy are having popcorn again for dinner tonight. I feel like the Dead Sea after all that sodium. This of course won't keep me from salting our dinner tonight. I like to wake up looking like a cross between a Cabbage Patch Doll and Rodney Dangerfield.

Just for an update... Remember the 28 day Engine 2 Plan Diet Larry and I were on...we're still doing it. It's about day 35 of the 28 day plan. So we are still off sugar, oils, fats and any white (even unbleached organic) flour. I love doing it. The plan is great. It has kept me from noshing on too much sugar in the kitchen. I no longer have frosting jowls. I have more energy, and our skin looks good. We've lost our tire tummies too. I've lost a few inches (no not in my height). The scale arrow would go farther down if I could just kick the confounded almond butter addiction.

Tonight's Reluctantly Healthy Dinner is...

Broccoli with Cherry Tomatoes, Kalamata olives and Tofu Feta over Rice Penne
1 Package Rice Penne
2 Cups broccoli chopped
1 C kalamata olives
1.5 C cherry tomatoes halved (easier to half with a bread knife so they don't squirt in your eye)
1/4 C salsa
1 T vegan pesto (optional)
1 clove garlic
TJ's 21 Salute
canola spray

Feta
1 package of firm tofu, drained and pressed (about 15 minutes each side)
1 T sea salt
3 T red wine vinegar
2 T oregano
1 T basil
(dill and 2 T olive oil optional)

Put water on for pasta, while draining and pressing tofu. Spray skillet with canola spray, saute broccoli with kalamata olives, about 6 minutes. Add cherry tomatoes and saute another 6 minutes. If you are not on the Engine 2 plan feel free to add 2 T olive oil to the skillet or to the tofu faker feta. 

For the Faker Feta
Crumble drained and pressed tofu into bowl and mix with remaining ingredients. Add to skillet and cook for about 12 minutes. Serve over pasta or rice.

Buy some coconut ice cream for dessert unless you have 18 hours to wait. See you tomorrow. I promise to drink some water before I see you, so I Iook a little better.

MoFo 10 Polenta: Made Martha's Method or GiGi's Way

I'm giving you a couple of options today. Let's say you've got oodles of time in the kitchen, an organic greenhouse on your estate, boy toys who massage your feet while you wait for your manservant to serve your casserole piping hot and bubbly direct from your "Wolf" oven. You savor this fragrant bit of magnificence that you have created while your winning show dog, (who has not come from the pound), fetches your slippers. If I have just described you, then Option 1: "The Martha Method" is for you.

Are you sweating it out with a day job that barely pays the bills? Do you work crazy ass ridiculous long hours on calloused feet? Is the only time you get to sit during a 15 hour day is when you blog for MoFo? Is the only garden you see an aloe plant you artfully placed on your garbage can? Would you love to gaze at this aloe plant through your kitchen window but your kitchen has no window? Do your domesticated ferals shed all over your Salvation Army chairs? Do people often confuse your apartment with an MRI machine? Then hurry up and make this quick and wolf it down, and post the recipe for MoFo or "GiGi's Way" is the one for you.

Polenta Casserole Option 1: "Martha's Method"
Martha's Polenta
10 cups cold water
1 heaping tablespoon coarse salt
1 dried bay leaf
2 cups coarse-ground polenta meal
Freshly ground pepper


Directions


1. Put 6 cups cold water, the salt and bay leaf into a Dutch oven or a heavy stockpot, and bring to a boil. Bring remaining 4 cups cold water to a simmer in a small saucepan over medium heat.
2. Add polenta to large pot in handfuls, separating your fingers to let the grains slip through and whisking constantly until combined. Reduce heat until only a couple of large bubbles appear at a time.
3. Whisk 2 ladlefuls of simmering water into polenta, and cook, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, until water has been absorbed, about 5 minutes. Continue to add 2 ladlefuls of water every 5 minutes, stirring often and waiting for it to be absorbed before adding more, until polenta is creamy and just pulls away from sides of pot, about 45 minutes. (It may be necessary to adjust heat.)
4. If not serving immediately, reduce heat to lowest setting, cover pot and keep warm until ready to serve. (Up to 1 hour). Remove bay leaf. Season with pepper.
5. For soft polenta only: Stir in butter. Sorry GiGi. Earth Balance. Use a damp spoon to serve. Top each serving with Parmigiano-Reggiano. Sorry I didn't mean that, GiGi! I mean nutritional yeast, GiGi!
6. For set polenta only: Pour into a slightly damp medium bowl (or a 13-by-9-inch baking dish). Let stand until no longer steaming, about 10 minutes. Refrigerate, uncovered until cold and set, about 1 1/2 hours. Cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate until ready to serve. (Up to 2 days). Turn out polenta. Using plain dental floss, cut horizontally in half, pulling string toward you. Cut in half crosswise, pressing string downward. Cut each half lengthwise into 1 1/2 inch-wide strips, cut strips crosswise into thirds, and then into triangles or squares if desired. (Alternatively, cut polenta with a knife.)


Option 2: "GiGi's Way"
ZzzzzzOh come on Martha, I mean I really appreciate you blogging with me but, dental floss? Dental Floss!!?

For the polenta part, "GiGi's Method":
Purchase one cylinder premade polenta and slice into rounds, then half moons. That's it. Your turn Martha.

Option 1: Sauce "Martha's Method"
Be sure to pick the ripest greenhouse tomatoes. Remember how you lovingly tended to the vines while the pool boy watched.

I'm sorry Martha. Again I really appreciate you helping me blog here, but me and the readers have to get some sleep and we haven't eaten yet. And your revery as delightful as it may be is just taking a little too much time. Say good night Martha :)

Sorry folks no more options tonight. Let's cook this baby up. I can't believe Martha was about to use real parm...what was she thinking? And dental floss?

GiGi's Fast and Effective Polenta Casserole continued from above.
1-2 Cups marinara sauce
2 C roasted broccoli (spray foil lined roasting pan with olive oil and bake at 450 degrees about 15 minutes)
1/2 C pitted and chopped kalamata olives
1 C Daiya mozzarella
1/4 C nooch (nutritional yeast)
1 tsp dried oregano

Pre Oven Polenta

1. Lightly spray casserole dish with olive oil. Place rounds or moons in dish layer with 1 T sauce per round, and one piece of roasted broccoli per round. Layer until there is no more polenta :(
Top with Daiya. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
2. Eat.
3. Now would be a good time for you to use use Martha's floss.
4. Go to bed.
5. Tomorrow's is another day of Mofo.Sweet vegan dreams. Lalalala.

Post oven Polenta

Mofo 6 A Happier Burger Would Make a Smarter Clown

Please play important video before proceeding to the rest of this blog and lovely recipe. Thank you signed, GiGi's attorney.

Entrepreneur, Celebrity and Spokesman Ronald McDonald, aka Ronald McCruelty, Hospitalized After Nearly Being Hit in Crosswalk

Ronald and his lawyers

Hospital Officials say that R. McDonald’s near death experience occurred just after 3 PM in a crosswalk just outside the famed burger joint. He was in shock but hospitalized from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar and fallen arches. R. McDonald’s release is slated for next week some time. Since McDonald was not hit straight on, police are no longer looking for the vehicle which swerved out of his way but ran over Mickey Dee’s happy meal. McDonald’s lawyers are not happy about this.

A Happier Burger with 1000 Island with a Punch
6 Portabellos with caps twisted off and cleaned with a damp towel (never run mushrooms under water) Marinate the twisted off caps too.
1/2 C olive oil
1/4 C  balsamic vinegar

1 tsp sea salt
Kaiser rolls
Fave vegan slaw or lettuce and tomatoes
Preheat oven at 450 degrees. Whisk together olive oil, balsamic and sea salt. Marinate portabellos for about 1/2 hour, unless you are in a super hurry.

Bake 20 min one side; 15 min the other.


1000 Island with a Punch
1/2 Vegenaise
1/4 C your favorite vegan BBQ sauce
1 pickle (my favorite are Bubbies) chopped
shot of Tabasco

Mix ingredients together, slather on kaiser roll, add portabellos and your favorite toppings. I'm partial to slaw. What toppings would make you happy?

Now that's a Happy Meal :)

MoFo 5 Veganizing Martha

October 5th. Thank God October 4th is over. Before we get to veganizing Martha today, I gotta come clean here. This has been weighing heavily on me. I have a confession, two actually. Two confessions. 
Confession 1-  I don't do yoga. At all. Unless lying on the couch in a fetal position is a yoga pose. There probably is something called Fetal couch yoga but I don't know since I don't do yoga. I think I could like the shvitzing part of Bikram yoga. I'm used to ovens. Sylvia Plath probably should have tried Bikram yoga a couple of times instead of using her oven.

Confession 2-  I hate nature and the great outdoors. What's so great about it? Being bitten alive by things buzzing around your head in a swamp is not a fun time. And I have never camped. Ever and never. I've heard there is no room service for tents. I know these confessions are un-vegan of me, please believe me when I say...
I am an ethical vegan for health reasons. I'm glad I told you. Phew.
GiGi: Oh look who's here.

GiGi: Come on in Martha.

GiGi: Shit. Sorry wrong Martha. How is George these days? See ya.
GiGi: Oh good you're here.

Martha S: Thanks for having me, GiGi.

GiGi: You are very welcome. Thank you! It's a good thing. You always say, "it's a good thing", ha ha, right Martha?

Martha: Yes, I always do say "it's a good thing", GiGi. What are we making today GiGi?

GiGi: We're making Chocolate Glazed Gingerbread Cakes.

Martha: Oh it's a good thing. From my Martha Stewart Baking Handbook.

GiGi: Hahahaha Martha. Yes you wrote that recipe before you did time in the big house. Not a good thing, Martha.
Martha: Had I not done time we might not have met GiGi.

GiGi: Yeah... well right Martha uh, let me give the folks at home a list of ingredients here.

5 T Earth Balance

Martha: Earth Balance?

GiGi: Yes Martha. It's a vegan butter so to speak.

Martha: What's wrong with organic home churned butter?
GiGi: Come on Marty. Mind if I call you Marty, Martha? Certainly Marty, you are aware of how exploited the animals are..

Martha: But it's a good thing.

GiGi: What?! Let's move on to the recipe.
1.5 C organic unbleached flour

1 tsp baking soda

2/3 C boiling water
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp ground ginger
3/4 tsp tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 C packed brown sugar
2/3 C unsulphered molasses
1 tsp ground flax seed made into a slurry with 3 T water
Ganache and crystallized ginger.


Martha: Where is that organic egg?
GiGi: Marty, you came here to veganize. I used groudn flax seed instead of an egg. I don't want to proselytize, but I happen know what happened to the chicken who laid that organic egg last time you had the flu.
Martha: Farm raised organic chickens make the best soups, GiGi.
GiGi: Oh God help me.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. You can take it from here Marty.

Martha: Generously butter...or Earth Balance and flour a 6 Cup jumbo cupcake pan, tapping out excess flour. In a small bowl, (perhaps an heirloom), stir together baking soda and boiling water. Set aside. In a medium bowl, (perhaps one you've bought at a country store), sift together flour, baking powder and spices. Set aside.

In bowl of electric mixer with a paddle attachment, beat butt, I mean Earth Balance with brown sugar until light and fluffy.

GiGi: Awww. Fluffy I had a cat named Fluffy. Now add the flax seed slurry. Beat well. Add molasses, fresh ginger and reserved baking soda until well combined. Divvy up the batter amongst the prepared muffin pan, filling each about 1/2 way. Bake about 25 minutes rotating halfway. Transfer to wire rack and cool for 15 minutes.

Martha: Invert cakes onto rack to cool completely. Here's an interesting thing GiGi. I came up with this recipe while practicing my daily yoga inversion headstand. I glanced at a rack of marmalade muffins and thought wouldn't it be priceless if they were actually upside down cupcakes.

GiGi: And here I thought I would have to pour ganache over them while standing on my head.

Martha: See GiGi, yoga. It's a good thing.

GiGi: Well thanks for stopping by Martha.

Martha: You are welcome. Thanks for having me.

GiGi: Yeah. Yeah.

Hey I didn't forget about the ganache. Martha had to leave to go camping.

Ganache

1/3 C vegan chocolate chips

1/3 C coconut milk or soy creamer

2 T agave

Boil coconut milk in heavy saucepan. Add vegan chocolate chips and agave and stir until melted and ganachey. After the cupcakes have cooled, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and place cupcakes, (still on wire rack), above it. Drip about 1 T of ganache over each cupcake. Let ganache run down sides.  Refrigerate until set.

Hey I wonder who else will stop by to help me cook this week. Who do you want to help in your kitchen? Thanks for stopping by. Off the record...do you camp or do yoga?