Jerk Tempeh, Slaw, and a Library Book

I observed a blogging trend in the first week of 2013. Quite a number of vegan bloggers listed their favorite posts of 2012. Since I am a mover and a shaker, (worth my salt, baha ha shaker- salt ?!), and like to get the leg up on the competition, like being number one in the universe, am incredibly brilliant, am humble enough to respect what other writers in the vegan community do, and like to be on the cutting edge, I bring you Veganville's Best of...

which would be the post before this one, my only 2013 post and this one if I finish it. I had a really great New Year's Day she-bang but none of my friends took any food pics. Only vegans do that. Apparently my friends are more than happy to take pics of back room Bingo Parlors, but none of my spectacular Hoppin' John. I am beginning to think my friends suck. I mean none of them go to the library either. They have kindles and nookies and unlimited credit for Amazon. My friend Noreen reasons that she doesn't like the gook she's found stuck to library pages. I say she doesn't know what she's missing. I scored a lime green lollipop once. Page 72 of the Shirley Temple Black autobiography. 

Last week I was super stoked to take out a new Raw dessert cookbook from my local library . Yep, as you know I dig those raw date nut crusts and and all things nut. I am not mentioning the book because I don't like giving any body a bad rap or rep except maybe well hmm, Ann Coulter but she did not write this book. All these stupid recipes said was, put this cookie in your dehydrator for 36 hours, put this fruit in your 535 dollar Vita-Mix. Put this in that and that in this. If I had 36 hours I would make ten batches of cookies, and if I didn't spend all my money in a tattoo parlor, don't you think I would have a Vita-Mix by now? I did find a dried fig on page 32 though. I love the library.

I just took out Bryant Terry's newest book out of the library, and now I am the library patron who gunks up the book, (not true, not true). I am totally going to buy this book, but a new one without green sauce smeared on page 65. I like this book so much I decided to make it overdue.

Look inside to see if you got something.

I made Jerk Tempeh, which took about 1/36th of the time to cook as those stupid dehydrator  cookies and whipped up my own kale-tahini sauce. I riffed on Bryant's cabbage beet slaw, and instead made a pineapple broccoli slaw. The sweet slaw definitely complimented the spicy tempeh. We even had leftovers. Because I am mighty generous I left a little tempeh chunk for the lucky patron who takes this book after I return it to the library. Nicer than a lolly, don't ya think?

GiGi's Kale-Tahini Sauce-(that's the green stuff on top of Terry's tempeh)

1 clove garlic minced
1/2 C water
2 T Rotel (Kendy over@ Miss Muffcake turned me onto this, it's chopped tomato with diced chili)
2.5 T tahini
1 C packed kale torn from it's ribs-(this is not violent!)
2 T lemon juice
sea salt

Spray a pan with canola oil and saute garlic and sea salt for about two minutes. Transfer to blender and puree with remainder of ingredients.

Broccoli Slaw with Pineapple-(riffin' on Terry)

1/2 Bag of TJ's broccoli slaw mix
1 C pineapple chunks (juice reserved)
3 T pineapple juice
2.5 T apple cider vinegar
1 tsp non-alcoholic dijon mustard
1/4 C kale torn into pieces
2 tsp agave
1/4 C silken tofu 
1/2 C chopped pecans
1.5 Granny Smith apples cored and julienned

Place broccoli slaw and pineapple chunks in bowl. Set aside. In upright blender combine and puree all ingredients except pecans and apples. Salt to taste. Pour enough dressing over slaw and massage, (wash your hands please), as if you would kale. Layer onto plate. Slaw, apple, slaw, apple,top with pecans and drizzle with dressing. 

You can find Bryant Terry's recipe for Jerk Tempeh on page 132, along with the surprise I left you.

Thank you for stopping by. 

Spin the Wheel and Happy Thanksgiving

I guess it was about 6 years ago that my sister Heidi texted me a message similar to this.

You better hurry down to LA the parental unit is on it's last legs.
You might want to say sianara and be on your merry way, since you know... since they are not leaving you anything except maybe some old shoe trees. Oh and that Las Vegas snow globe you wanted.

I had talked to the parental unit just moments before. Both of my parents have husky voices, so when the timber of my dad's voice sounded crypt like and my mom sounded like Foghorn Leghorn I figured their voices were just horser from yelling at each more than usual. Still the shoe trees were worth taking a trip for. Psycho Boy and I jumped in the car and drove 8 hours to the death condo.

We arrived drawn and haggard. Ding dong ding dong. I banged on the door with a shoe tree I clipped on an earlier visit and rang the door bell again. Ding dong. No answer. When I was about to give up and call the coroner, I heard a man yell, "Spin the wheel!" What the hell was Pat Sajak doing in my dead parents living room? I crawled on to their balcony and peaked through the venetian blinds, and there at the dining room table watching a deafening and gargantuan flat screen were two very alive parents eating spaghetti, drinking wine and solving TV hangman.

Since I am fairly thin, I slid through their venetian blinds.

Me: Doesn't anybody answer their doorbell anymore?
Mom and Dad: We knew it was you. Ha ha ha. Now that you are here, we might as well talk about those shoe trees.
Me: No. I am too vulnerable and I have to let Larry in.
Mom and Dad: Hi Larry! While you are here, can you go to T.J.'s for us? Here's the list.

We did not look at the list until we got to T.J.'s. It included 3 Two Buck Chucks and 3 bags of ginger chews, and two salads. We looked all over the meat cold case for the offending chuck meat. A Hawaiian shirted employee pointed us towards the cheap wine section. I guess, alcohol either kills you or preserves you.

So when Heidi texted me about my dad this time, I wasn't sure what to think. My mom confirmed that my elderly dad was doing very poorly and that hospice was in and he was taking morphine for pain. This time they knew we were coming and were happy we came. My dad wasn't that responsive at first, except when I asked if he was comfortable, and he answered, "I make a living." He also sang with Heidi and me several choruses of "Take Me Out To the Ball Game" and "Button Up Your Overcoat." Always the showman, my dad ended the song with," I really mean it!"  My mom is still his main caregiver/entertainer so when I heard her bustling about I crept into my dad's room. My dad sat up, looked down at his hospital bed and exclaimed, "Oyvay", closed his eyes and opened them and added "Gefalt, and Patooey!" The three of us laughed and joked for what seemed like an hour, until my dad faded back to sleep.

Crazy Boy and I left two days later. I was exhausted and hungry the entire trip home. I am not normally a car sleeper, but I do like to nosh on road trips. I slept on and off for half the trip. While dazed and confused we bought these T.J. foods for the way home. Both are equally delicious and comforting.

Although there are times I miss my younger parents, a younger sibling, husband and of course a youthful me, I am grateful this Thanksgiving for all of them being around for as long as they have. Through all the trials and tribulations that have come with a long life, I am even more grateful that my family has maintained the ability to laugh at life's absurdities.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! And much love!
What are you most grateful for?

Time Warp Salad

Way back when, in a land of 8 track cassettes, iron on band tee shirts and bands called Iron Butterfly...back when tiny sawdusted hippie granola stores were the only places this veggie kid could slop together something kind to eat... mostly fresh peanut butter and carob rice cakes... Yeah way back when, my sister Heidels and I turned orange. And No... our orange tint wasn't from some Timothy Leary- Jerry Garcia sunshiny thing either. And no one of those primordial QT tan tubes didn't do it either. Remember those things? My mom tried QT on her tennis tan- white feet first. This gave her George Hamilton tootsies. Boy oh boy fake tans have come along way. No sirree no QT for Heidels and me. And still one day we woke up looking like a couple of tangerines.
We put our two noggins together and explored our furnished Los Angeles apartment for the culprit. Hmmm- no radiation leak. We had traded our screwdrivers and "tango" in for tequila so orange juice wasn't the problem. Where were we last night anyway? Our detective work didn't last long. We needed some strong ass coffee fast. Besides we reasoned, maybe everybody looks like "Tang" in LA.  Grab your shades, Heidels, my heads pounding let's go get some Joe. We got in Heidel's bug with the sunroof and were off.

Breakfast
GiGi: We'd like a pot of the strongest coffee you got.
Heidels: And a couple of margaritas.
GiGi: Ooh look they have carrot juice.
Heidels: Oh yeah and 2 large carrot juices. We're dehydrated.
GiGi: And look this is the place with the best carrot salad ever. Lets get 2 quarts to take home.
Heidels: Here's to vitamin D.
GiGi: And A.
Heidels: Gotta stogey?
GiGi: Yeah. Here you go, you grub.
Wow I forgot how much I love carrot salad. Really. Let's reinvent the decade!

I paired the carrot salad with a kashi and bow tie recipe from Robin Robertson's Vegan Planet,(great book), and topped the kashi with vegan sour cream. The flavors all really complimented each other. You're delicious, said the carrot salad. No, you are scrumptious, said the kashi. The bow ties remained mum. Yuk. Yuk.

Flashback Carrot Salad
Ingredients:
•3 cups grated carrots
•1/2 cup raisins
•1/2 cup vegenaise
•2T agave

•1/2 cup drained crushed pineapple

Add all ingredients except fruit to a large bowl and stir until combined well. Chill. I mean really. Just chill, man.