What?! A Veganville Contest for Carnivores and the Ilk? Contest! Contest!

What? It's been eight days without a blog, you say. In Beatles' lyric lingo eight days is a week.
Crap, I owe you a contest or something. I got a doozy of a contest right up my bamboo organic sleeve too.

Boy oh boy I hope people enter. This is open to all members of the human race, except members of the Tea Party. I think I contradicted myself there, since Tea Party members are not considered  humans or mammals.

Quite honestly I never could stand tea, and that kombucha stuff just stinks. I know I'm a vegan and I'm supposed to expound on the benefits of tea, right? Screw that I say. The only time I really drank tea was when I used to get my tea leaves read. My whole crazy family used to visit the tea leaf lady. She was a little old lady who wore a flowered mu mu and had a pornographic light switch in her bathroom. You know the kind. The switch has an erection when you put the lights on. And when you switched them off well...sometimes that happens in the dark. (bahahaha). Mildred the mu mu clad pornographer tea reader lady had a favorite phrase she used while reading your leaves to you. After each leaf  prediction "you will get married when you are 20" or "you will have a friend named John" she would add in this high pitched voice..."and that is that". "You will brush your teeth" and "that is that". One day you will not drink anymore tea...and that is that.

Back to the contest.

I won't leave you in the dark here. Stop playing with that light switch, would ya.

Anyway, this contest has a little twist to it because as we all know I can be a little twisted. I don't like to proselytize.Yeah, of course I'd love it if the whole world became vegan. I'd love it If everybody left the itty, little, bitty baby calves alone with their mommies. And I sure wish those little, itty, bitty babies weren't taken away from their mommies so they could be placed in a cramped disgusting box to live out their infancy just so you could make them into Italian V Parmesan sandwiches later. NO! I didn't bring you here to tell you that. No I did not.

This is not a conversion contest so I won't tell you how cows are abused just so you can eat some soft serve or coffee praline heavy duty ice cream sundae. I promise I won't mention how porky pig becomes your breakfast side at Denny's (bacon has a mommy too) or ramble about how chickens suffer in battery cages. Nope why should I become all hot and bothered about that stuff. I know you are still going to rush out maybe not today but tomorrow to get a triple heart attack burger with some drippy bleu. (I won't even mention the health benefits of eating vegan or how much water we save by going veg.) Nope I won't tell you that stuff.

This is a contest here and let's have some freaking fun. Shall we. Really I just want you to know how great the vegan options and food is today. If you are looking to feel better, look better or even want to be a little more eco conscious try 2 meatless Mondays. Try out your local veg restaurant. Try one vegan lunch one day, and a vegan dinner another. Oh don't be such a big baby.

This contest is for all you pesky pescetarians, all you died in the wool carnivores, the "I could never leave my cheese behind" vegetarians, the "I hardly ever eat red meat because I'm so effing healthy", and the "I eat only free range organic" gourmet, and of course let's not forget all you "I'm already vegan but only eat chips and salsa" friends.

********Think you can cook vegan? contest******
             Official Rules and What You Win****
1. Contest Starts Right Now. August 6th 2011 and ends August 26th 10 P.M. PST
2. You must make two completely vegan meals. It's okay to use prepared vegan food like vegan chili or vegan meat substitutes or vegan sour creme. 
3. Vegan means no animal products whatsoever. No meat, no dairy, no honey. You are welcome to use any of the recipes on my site, an original recipe or one from a vegan cookbook or a recipe you veganized from a regular cookbook. Send me the recipe and a picture of the meal you made. Tell me if you created the recipe or where you got it from.
Videos are welcome. I am open to questions and happy to make suggestions.
4. I will feature contestant's meals on the Veganville blog in the coming days and weeks.
5. You can enter as many meals as you like over the three week period.
6. You must be a follower of this blog.

7. I'll post your entry on my FB page too. Get your friends to enter or vote.
8. Let's rack up the comments and I'll bring in a surprise guest judge too.

Vegan newbies Hints
Some fave substitutes:
1. Daiya Cheez - perfect meltability, it's not soy based and tastes great.
2. Follow Your Heart Cheez is excellent as well.
3. Vegenaise mayonnaise is the only way to go in the mayo dept. (my mom even likes it).
4. Nutritional yeast (not Brewer's Yeast) is a great stand in for Parmesan and mixed and there are amazing recipes out there for vegan "mac and cheeze".
5. Wanna veganize a family recipe and not sure how, hit me up.


Prizes:
A big box filled to the brim with assorted Veganville goodies. And a beautiful handmade vegan bookmark from Lylah's Etsy shop. I have one myself. Please check out her shop for some more real gorgeous artwork. I heart her line drawings and doodles. You can also check out what project Lilah is working on right now at her blog.

I'll add some more prizes if we get a good showing here. Come on what are you waiting for? Get cooking. And tell your buddies. It's fun to share. Why hell, make a party out of it! Cook up some nifty vegan foods and have a vegan potluck.

And that is that!