Du Maurier. I get mixed up with whose portrait or person is in the attic and who kicked the bucket. My birthday is in a few days. I hope somebody puts a portrait of me in their attic. I need to slow down the ravages of time. Vegan moisturizer isn't that great.
My smarty pants friend, Marcia made me reread Rebecca, because I still confuse
Mrs. De Winters with Jane Eyre. Now I am less befuddled, but really, Mrs. De Winters is kind of a moron. I mean I don't care how naive or how new she is to Manderley, who in their right mind would allow this creepy donkey face Danvers create their menu for them. Let's switch up the heroines for a moment, shall we?
GiGi De Winters: Yes, I would very much like to see the menu for the mansion, Mrs. D.
Mrs. Danvers: You can trust me, to make fantastic meals for you and Mr. De Winters.
GiGi De Winters: Um, yeah...I don't think so, Mrs. Dee. Last time you used a lot of butter and eggs, when I specifically ordered tofu scrambles for Maxim and me. I refuse to starve in this mansion.
|GiGi De Winters and Mrs. Danvers argue about eggs.|
Too bad Gothic novels don't have photoshop.
GiGi De Winters: Oh stop. It's pronounced vee-gun even in English Gothic romances. That's it! You are forbidden to watch "Paula's Home Cooking" anymore.
Mrs. Danvers: (Mrs. Danvers screams) but... but Madame, Rebecca always watched Paula Deen with me.
GiGi De Winters: Oh Rebecca this, Rebecca that. They'll be no Paula Deen at Manderley.
Mrs. Danvers: As you wish. (Mrs. Danvers exits)
GiGi De Winters: (calls after Mrs. Danvers) Oh BTW tomorrow I'll make my own breakfast!!! I have to fit into that shmata for the fancy dress ball.
|Does this hat match? Eh, Doesn't matter Mr. De Winter is half blind. Wait, never mind, that's Jane Eyre's hubby who's blind.|
GiGi De Winters: (yells from breakfast table) You better not be watching Paula Deen, Mrs. Danvers!
Mrs. Danvers: Bahahahaha.
GiGi De Winters: Oh crap I smell smoke.
For those who have read this prior to my guest post over at Veganosaurus, Rebecca's ghost published this before I was able to get this to Susmitha. I will let you know when it airs over there. There will be an introduction that won't be included here. And if you don't already know my buddy, Susmithy, please visit her kick ass blog.
Thanks for having me Susmithey. Sorry gotta run.