MoFo 25 Devil in the White Potato

Perhaps you think you know everything you need to know about Seitan.
Well do you know that Seitan is a voracious reader? I am. I am. Here are a few of my favorite cookbooks and books I have cooked. Of course I am the featured antagonist in all of them.

The Devil in the White Potato
Rosemary's Herby
The Exordish
Vegan With a Revengeance
Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the Netherworld

I am quite fond of existentialism and Sartre. Are you familiar with the plot of No Exit? The recipes are mostly for disaster. The characters are damned, so they are cooked for sure. Their human vanity has given them a one way ticket to hell. Hell for them is a destination with no mirrors. Ah...but that is an old hell. In recent years I have given our occupants back their mirrors. They now have a fate much worse.....

You can have your beautiful reflections back. But ...

Tonight's recipe:
Devil in the White Potato
Serves 2

2 Bakers scrubbed
1 yukon
8 crimini mushrooms sliced
1 zucchini shredded and squeezed to remove water
1/4 of an onion chopped
1 clove garlic chopped/minced
1/2 package Upton chorizo seitan
1C plain soy yogurt plus 2 T
1/2 C daiya pepper jack shreds
1 tsp paprika
sea salt to taste

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Place potatoes directly on oven rack and roast for 50-60 minutes or until tender and cooked through. The yukon will take about 40 minutes.
While the potatoes are baking do all the other prep. Saute mushrooms, garlic and onions and seitan for about 6 minutes, add zucchini and paprika and sea salt. Cook about 7 more minutes.
Remove  bakers from oven. Carefully slice off the top quarter of each baker and let them cool about five minutes. Scoop out the flesh of each baker and leave behind a 1/4 inch layer of potato on the inside to form a shell. Add the flesh, bahahaha, of the bakers and the yukon to a large bowl and mash. Add 2 T of soy yogurt and mix.

Raise oven temp to 475 degrees. Place the  potato shells on a foiled baking sheet. Roast in the oven for 12 minutes or until they begin to crisp.
While the potato shells are baking in the oven mix the with 1/2 C of and 1 C of soy to the zucchini mixture. Fold in the mashed potatoes.

Remove the potato shells from the oven and use a cupcake scoop to evenly fill each potato with several scoops.

These also go by the moniker, Seitan is Twice Baked!

MoFo19 BBQ Seitan Sandwich and Baby Seitan

It's cult Sunday here on Veganville. Every Sunday during  MoFo we worship Seitan. Today you are in for a special treat. Mommy Seitan, yes my Mommy Dearest, just located some ancient texts, something commonly called childhood pictures in your world. 

Before we get to our Hearts on Fire BBQ tonight take a gander, at this child. Can you guess who it is? That's right Bahahaha. 

Apparently, even then I had no shame, a virtue I bring to my job as adult Seitan.

Hearts on Fire Seitan BBQ Sandwich and BBQ Beans

By the way, the sauce really isn't that hot at all, really, I mean if you compare it to where I live most of the time.

The Sauce

1 15 oz. can tomato sauce (unsweetened)
1 6 oz. can tomato paste
1 T liquid smoke
1 T low sodium soy sauce
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
3 tsp 21 Salute
4 T unsulfered molasses
3 T agave
3 T apple cider vinegar
several dashes Tabasco

Pour all ingredients into a large mixing bowl and whisk.

For the BBQ Beans

1 15 oz can of cannelini beans (drained and rinsed)
1 15 oz can of kidney beans  (drained and rinsed)
about 1/2 to 1 C of the BBQ Sauce

Empty ingredients into saucepan and heat.

Hearts on Fire BBQ Sandwich

1 box of cubed Seitan
4 vine ripened tomatoes roughly chopped
about 1 C and 1/2 C sauce. More or less depending on taste
micro sprouts
2 hoagie rolls or 1 large hoagie roll cut in half

In separate bowl marinate seitan cube with BBQ sauce.
Spray saute pan with canola oil, add tomatoes and cook for about 4 minutes. Add marinated seitan cubes. Heat until cooked through.

Slice hoagie rolls. Spoon seitan mixture on to one side of roll. Top with sprouts. Devour, and use lots of napkins to wipe off your messy chin and your devilish grin.

PS The Blogger highlighter is possessed, hence the different recipe backgrounds. Please accept our utmost apologies.

MoFo 13 Sundays With Seitan

Hi. It's me again, Seitan, from "Sundays With Seitan." I didn't mean to frighten you away with this video I mailed you last week. Quite frankly I think you've just been brainwashed by all the bad things you've heard about gluten. Why remember when bran was banned and spinach was contaminated, and even certain mushrooms were condemned. Why sure there are always food scares. Damned if I don't remember the botulism scare of 1862. I could have said goodbye to refrieds forever, but what's a bashed can or a bad bean every now in then when you've got all of eternity to fan those flames. Hey you. Over there. The girl with the teff, come back!



She isn't coming back, Mommy!

That's okay Zuul. That just means that there will be more food for you and Mommy. Bahahahaa. They are all scaredy cats. This is the last time I will try to seduce you all with my culinary charm.
NOT! Bahahaha.

 

Seitan and Roasted Eggplant Wraps with Lemon Cashew Sauce

Serves 4 hungry demons

 

1 eggplant peeled and sliced into rounds

canola spray

1 box Seitan strips

1 clove of garlic peeled and chopped small

sea salt

1 English cucumber peeled and diced

2 vine ripened tomatoes chopped

1 Kosher pickled diced

4 spinach wraps

 

Lemon Cashew Dressing
 

3/4 C raw cashews

3/4 C tahini

juice of one lemon

1 C water

1/2 tsp dill

1/2 tsp salt

1 clove garlic chopped

 

Spray skillet and cook seitan strips with 1 clove garlic according to package directions. Preheat oven to 400 degrees, line a cookie sheet with foil and spray. Place eggplant slices on cookie sheet and spray eggplant again with canola oil. Cook for about 12-15 minutes.

 

Meanwhile place cukes, tomatoes and pickles in bowl and make dressing.

 

Place cashews in bowl of food processor and process until crumbly. Add tahini, lemon and remainder of ingredients. Process until smooth. Salt and dill to taste. A little dressing can be tossed into the cuke mix or drizzled over the wrap.

 

Assemble the wrap:
 

Place wraps vertically on clean surface. Layer with seitan, eggplant, tomato mixture, and drizzle cashew dill dressing. Roll and slice in half.

 

 

 

 

You take the top wrap Zuul.

 

Please join us next time for Sundays with Seitan. Don't make me come up there and get you. Please don't make me leave the confines of my home. It's way too cold up there where you are and you know that we hardly ever have a cold day in hell. 

 

Ta ta. That's a wrap.

Transylvanian Stroganoff and Comfort

I'm waiting for last minute entries to trickle in and watching the weather channel for updated hurricane news. I've been praying for all my friends and family back on the east coast. Some of my friends have been evacuated. My FB page really has the most up to date news that is fit to print. What kind of meals are served in evacuation shelters anyway? What's happening to the stores and the restaurants? Wishing you all safety, warmth and nourishment. Here is some comfort food.

Thursdays are our day off in Veganville, so we either take time to experiment in the kitchen or hit up a new vegan restaurant. I asked Crazy boy what he wanted to do and he said he wanted me to whip up some stroganoff. I've had Vegan Vengeance for years. The pesto stains and melted chocolate in the margins indicate how it's one of my go to books. Although the stroganoff looked like a great dish I've never been a seitan worshipper, so this beautiful recipe has been abandoned until now. CB promised to chop the onions into little half moons like Isa suggests. Onions make me weep, which can be cathartic when I'm not famished. He promised to photograph the stroganoff in stages too. It was a done deal.
We were very happy with the results and it made enough for three dinners. I'm still not a huge fan of seitan but I do love pronouncing "stroganoff" with a Transylvanian accent. It makes the dinner more fun. Hey did you ever take "transylvanian meditation"? Bahaha.

Transylvanian Stroganoff Variation on Isa's Stroganoff

2 T arrowroot or cornstarch (I used cornstarch)
2 C vegan broth or cold water (I used 365 vegan broth)
8 tsp olive oil
1 C shallots thinly sliced
1 large onion cut into half moons by Larry (if you don't have a Larry, anyone who doesn't sob will do)
3 cloves garlic minced
2 C cremini mushrooms thinly sliced
2 portabello caps thinly sliced
2 T thyme
1 package seitan (we used a smoked seitan) or 3.5 C seitan all sliced in wide thin strips
2 tsp sea salt
Isa uses 1 C burgundy wine (we are allergic to wine so we used 3/4 C water with 1/4 aged balsamic)
1 T Hungarian paprika
1/2 C nooch
1/2 C plain soy milk
2 tsp Dijon mustard (I use 365 mustard- sans wine)
1 C frozen peas
1/2 pound wide noodles (we used fresh pasta)

Dissolve the cornstarch in the 2 C of broth. Set aside. Heat 2 T oil in a skillet over medium high heat. Add shallots, onions and saute for 5 minutes. Add garlic, all the mushrooms and thyme. Saute for 15 minutes.

While this is sauteing heat a cast iron skillet with remaining 2 tsp of olive oil. Add seitan and saute over medium heat 'til brown and crispy. If you use store bought like we did this will take ten minutes. If using homemade seitan it will take about 25 minutes.

Okay, back to the sauce. Add salt, water and balsamic or wine and paprika. Turn up heat to high so liquid reduces, about ten minutes.
Lower heat to medium high and add cornstarch mixture, stir well and let the sauce thicken for about 5 minutes Add nooch and mix 'til well dissolved.

Add soy milk and mustard and bring heat down to low. Isa says to be very careful here not to let the mix boil, since boiling can make the soy milk and mustard bitter.

Add the seitan and peas, and cook for 10 more minutes. Prepare your noodles according to package directions. Divide noodles amongst dishes and top with the stroganoff. Tofu sour cream is really good on top too.

Hey thanks for the pics CB. I'll be back with a winner of Veganville's most recent contest a little later today.Thanks for playing everyone. In the meantime, may you all  find comfort in the middle of life's storms.