Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Monday, October 10, 2011

MoFo 10 Polenta: Made Martha's Method or GiGi's Way

I'm giving you a couple of options today. Let's say you've got oodles of time in the kitchen, an organic greenhouse on your estate, boy toys who massage your feet while you wait for your manservant to serve your casserole piping hot and bubbly direct from your "Wolf" oven. You savor this fragrant bit of magnificence that you have created while your winning show dog, (who has not come from the pound), fetches your slippers. If I have just described you, then Option 1: "The Martha Method" is for you.

Are you sweating it out with a day job that barely pays the bills? Do you work crazy ass ridiculous long hours on calloused feet? Is the only time you get to sit during a 15 hour day is when you blog for MoFo? Is the only garden you see an aloe plant you artfully placed on your garbage can? Would you love to gaze at this aloe plant through your kitchen window but your kitchen has no window? Do your domesticated ferals shed all over your Salvation Army chairs? Do people often confuse your apartment with an MRI machine? Then hurry up and make this quick and wolf it down, and post the recipe for MoFo or "GiGi's Way" is the one for you.

Polenta Casserole Option 1: "Martha's Method"
Martha's Polenta
10 cups cold water
1 heaping tablespoon coarse salt
1 dried bay leaf
2 cups coarse-ground polenta meal
Freshly ground pepper


1. Put 6 cups cold water, the salt and bay leaf into a Dutch oven or a heavy stockpot, and bring to a boil. Bring remaining 4 cups cold water to a simmer in a small saucepan over medium heat.
2. Add polenta to large pot in handfuls, separating your fingers to let the grains slip through and whisking constantly until combined. Reduce heat until only a couple of large bubbles appear at a time.
3. Whisk 2 ladlefuls of simmering water into polenta, and cook, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, until water has been absorbed, about 5 minutes. Continue to add 2 ladlefuls of water every 5 minutes, stirring often and waiting for it to be absorbed before adding more, until polenta is creamy and just pulls away from sides of pot, about 45 minutes. (It may be necessary to adjust heat.)
4. If not serving immediately, reduce heat to lowest setting, cover pot and keep warm until ready to serve. (Up to 1 hour). Remove bay leaf. Season with pepper.
5. For soft polenta only: Stir in butter. Sorry GiGi. Earth Balance. Use a damp spoon to serve. Top each serving with Parmigiano-Reggiano. Sorry I didn't mean that, GiGi! I mean nutritional yeast, GiGi!
6. For set polenta only: Pour into a slightly damp medium bowl (or a 13-by-9-inch baking dish). Let stand until no longer steaming, about 10 minutes. Refrigerate, uncovered until cold and set, about 1 1/2 hours. Cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate until ready to serve. (Up to 2 days). Turn out polenta. Using plain dental floss, cut horizontally in half, pulling string toward you. Cut in half crosswise, pressing string downward. Cut each half lengthwise into 1 1/2 inch-wide strips, cut strips crosswise into thirds, and then into triangles or squares if desired. (Alternatively, cut polenta with a knife.)

Option 2: "GiGi's Way"
ZzzzzzOh come on Martha, I mean I really appreciate you blogging with me but, dental floss? Dental Floss!!?

For the polenta part, "GiGi's Method":
Purchase one cylinder premade polenta and slice into rounds, then half moons. That's it. Your turn Martha.

Option 1: Sauce "Martha's Method"
Be sure to pick the ripest greenhouse tomatoes. Remember how you lovingly tended to the vines while the pool boy watched.

I'm sorry Martha. Again I really appreciate you helping me blog here, but me and the readers have to get some sleep and we haven't eaten yet. And your revery as delightful as it may be is just taking a little too much time. Say good night Martha :)

Sorry folks no more options tonight. Let's cook this baby up. I can't believe Martha was about to use real parm...what was she thinking? And dental floss?

GiGi's Fast and Effective Polenta Casserole continued from above.
1-2 Cups marinara sauce
2 C roasted broccoli (spray foil lined roasting pan with olive oil and bake at 450 degrees about 15 minutes)
1/2 C pitted and chopped kalamata olives
1 C Daiya mozzarella
1/4 C nooch (nutritional yeast)
1 tsp dried oregano

Pre Oven Polenta
1. Lightly spray casserole dish with olive oil. Place rounds or moons in dish layer with 1 T sauce per round, and one piece of roasted broccoli per round. Layer until there is no more polenta :(
Top with Daiya. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
2. Eat.
3. Now would be a good time for you to use use Martha's floss.
4. Go to bed.
5. Tomorrow's is another day of Mofo.Sweet vegan dreams. Lalalala.
Post oven Polenta


  1. "3. Now would be a good time for you to use use Martha's floss."


    Oh this polenta has a certain je ne sais quoi about it. I can't quite put my finger on it. Perhaps, it's minty? :oP

  2. Minty hahahaha. Thank you for reading :)

  3. Ohmy, these look so good! What a great idea. Oh and you can tell Martha that I've got a place for her dental floss, that saucy minx! What? Im talking about her teeth, what did you think???

  4. Thank you, Cara. Hahaha. I was commenting on your blog while you were here. Martha is currently donning a maillot. Oh you were talking teeth ;)

  5. Hmff. I left a whole long comment this morning and it's gone. I really did, and I don't feel up to being clever again right now so I'll just say, don't clean your teeth with a knife. I love polenta!

  6. Me no like that it is missing :(
    Hmff. Hahahaha. I will take your advice about the knife, Andrea.

  7. I laughed so hard at the dental floss thing. Your polenta looks super delicious!

  8. Dental floss? Is Martha wackadoodle or what?
    Thanx for reading Mo. It's super easy and is good :)