Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Vegans Eat Like Crap Too

"WTF?" you ask.  How can that be?  Really, vegans can eat like crap? And the only reason you stopped by  my stupid blog you say, is because rather than pay an arm and a leg for insurance you thought you could find healthy options here. Bahahahaha. Well, not today sister. Put that arm cuff down and pick up some sea salt. Today is snackville time in Veganville.
Apparently posts like this annoy some fellow vegan bloggers. There's this one dude who chastises any vegan who does not inhale seaweed (nori to you) for breakfast. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some seaweed, but I don't like downing it with  five cups of black coffee in the morning. I gotta admit my coffee is not even fair trade. Larry just picked up some Don Juan hazelnut at Target for cheap. Maybe Mister Seaweed can get all self righteous about his morning greens and organic java beans. Maybe Mr. Seaweed makes more money off his blog than I do on mine.
 I make nothing on this blog. Nothing. This blog has  taken over my life and sometimes I have to pay people to read it... Mommy!  Maybe his refrigerator handle didn't come off in his hand last week and he didn't have to attach it with duct tape. Maybe Mr. Blah Blah  Blogger's refrigerator doesn't looks like his 1990 Volvo that has duct tape all over the driver's side. Maybe Mr. Plant of the Ocean doesn't suffer from the Big D. and doesn't need comfort food once in a while.
Before you get all freaked out, yeah I ate like a stupid jerk last week. I did not, I assure you cross some ethical vegan line. Not one morsel from the slaughter industry crossed my lips!
Here's what I did have...
  • Half a tub of vegan cat cookies
  • that key lime pie from an earlier post
  • a dozen home made oatmeal raisin cookies
  • a brick of vegan sheeze with wasabi crackers
  • an entire bag of (are you overjoyed Mr. Seaweed) Trader Joe's vegan seaweed rice balls with extra sodium
  • Oh yeah, and a pint of vegan caramel ice cream
BTW aren't these aprons pretty?

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