Something wasn't quite right. I could sense it. I woke up feverish (99.9). My bed sheets were soaked with five buckets of my salty sweat . My heart raced like my morning Joe had been cut with some angry speed. I could hear my half ferals scratching at the door to come in. I felt no real pain in the shoulder so I was most likely not having a big heart attack. Yes, I occasionally suffer from a condition that causes chest pain due to inflammation of the cartilage and bones in the chest wall- But this was no itty bitty "Tietze" attack.
I mopped another gallon of perspiration off from under my cloche and crawled on all fours to the PC. Something bad had happened to my "Baking on Broken Glass" blog. I just knew it.
This is what my blog looked like just yesterday. This is the old me. No small potatoes.
When I pulled up Blogspot the picture was replaced with this!
I've been hacked. What's more someone wanted me smashed. But who or whom? I was going to have to narrow it down. No easy task, I've pissed a lot of people off with this blog...mostly my mommy - but still. I thought about Zooey Deschanel and how she was now a vegan turncoat. I thought about my so called "carnivore" friends. I considered Lizbeth Salander but she's in Sweden. And then I remembered HARRY! Harry, my archenemy Harry of "Harry's Famous House of Steak." Of course. I wrote about our phone call in that last blog and Harry didn't want it to go public.
If you didn't get a chance to read it before it vanished this is how it went down. My friend's were celebrating a birthday dinner at "Harry's Famous House of Steak" and wanted me to join them. I called Harry in the middle of a steak rush to ask about vegan options.
Harry: This is famous Harry from Harry's Famous House of Steak.
GiGi: Hi Harry. My name is GiGi and I'm a vegan.
Harry: Table for two, right this way. Sorry, Hello. Reagan? Oh hi Nancy.
GiGi: I'm calling about the Harry's potato. And it's GiGi not Nancy. And I'm a vegan not a Reagan!
Harry: Oh Nancy, I've already told you the caloric content of Famous Harry's World Famous Potato.
GiGi: No this isn't Nancy," with the red dress", Reagan. This is GiGi and I'm a vegan. I just wanna know if I can get a plain baked potato with sea salt at Harry's, Harry. I mean without all the rigmarole.
Harry: Listen GiGi, Famous Harry's House of Steak World Famous Potato comes one way and one way only and that's with our famous bleu, sour cream and a slab of bacon.
GiGi : But it's my friend's birthday.
Harry: Which is why I gave your friend an extra special table right under the moose head.The very same table I gave Nancy and Ronald, GiGi.
GiGi:Moose head? Is that a new ale? I doubt very much if Nancy would eat a baked potato with all the fixin's Harry. Wait a minute Harry. That moose it's it's-IT'S TAXIDERMY not ale, isn't it HARRY?
GiGi: Harry - you are a moose killer! And I'm going to let all two people who read my blog know all about you!!!
Well let me tell you something, Famous Harry. You'll never hack me! I changed my password. It's no longer GGvegan.
I'll be back with some cool food tomorrow.