Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Larry's Jive Biscuits Are in the Bag, Baby!

While most people were taking in the fireworks, barbecuing "Smart dogs", munching on "Tings" or hiking Mt. Rushmore, that's right I was inside and online searching for a new cruelty free hand bag.

Cruelty Free BagsFashion Trends & Styles - Polyvore

Unpatriotic you say, I say who do you think boosts this fledgling U.S. economy while you are out hiking some gigantic president's head in North Dakota? Shopping is more American than baseball and Mom's apples, (my mom does not bake). Why look at the cost of these vegan Stella McCartney bags. Oh never mind, Stella is from England. Still, I'd like a Stella bag. 
I heard it. I heard you say, "In your dreams, GiGi!"
How do you know? Maybe Stella will barter with me. I'll give Stella 2,000 vegan cheesecakes for one of her purses, maybe she'd like that.
Maybe I'll get a book advance, sometime soon.
Maybe I'll add a donate button on my blog. Pleeeeease donate I haven't bought a purse in two years!!!!
Women often say they would kill for a certain handbag. These are vegan, so there is no killing just coveting! I won't be an accessory to murder!
Oh well, you came here for some food. So what kind of food won't mess up a nifty new handbag? What's easy to wrap and carry around while you shop? What won't smell up your new pleather? I think Larry's Jive Biscuits are just the thing.
Larry concentrates before baking!
Larry's Jive Chive Biscuits (makes about a dozen biscuits, not a dozen Larrys.)
2.5 C unbleached flour, and more for dusting
1.5 t baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
1 1/4 t sea salt
1T sugar
1/4 C chopped fresh chives
1 stick Earth Balance cold and cut into small pieces
4 oz. Tofutti Cream Cheese
1 1/4 plain soy milk mixed with 11/4 T apple cider vinegar
Line a baking sheet with parchment. In a large bowl whisk together the first six ingredients. Using two forks or knives, (Larry likes knives), cut in the EB and Tofutti until the mix is coarse crumbs. Pour in the soy milk mixture and mix, ( a fork is good here), in until the dough comes together.
Add flour to a work surface and turn the dough on to it. Flour your hands and knead until the dough is smooth. Take out that trusty rolling pin and roll out the dough into a 11 by 8 inch rectangle, (go ahead use a ruler). Using a spatula lift the ends of the dough and fold into a rectangle. Now fold into thirds, (like a business letter). Now repeat the process. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Return the dough to the work surface and and roll like you did before. Give the dough one more turn and fold into a rectangle one last time, Thank God.
It'll be worth it I promise. Using a sharp knife, (careful Larry), trim and discard 1/4 inch from all sides, divide the rectangle into 12 equal squares or rectangles. Place on the prepared baking sheet. Refrigerate for an hour. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Bake rotating the sheet half way through until the biscuits look good and golden. About 15 to 18 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.
Once cool, place in your new handbag. It is good sustenance for shopping, just jiving.Thanks, Larry!


  1. OHHHH, Unkle no look so good! breathe in those chives,Clive(I like that name)to clear the sinuses (pre-baking)!
    Kohls may have a "Stella"sale very soon!!

  2. Larry-Clive would look much better if he goes to the Kohl sale to by said purse.

  3. Larry looks like a poor man's Carnac the Magnificent.
    Keep up the good work.

  4. Wow Mark that's exactly what Larry was thinking!!! Larry the Magnificent!!!
    (RIP Johnny)
    I'll have to put that towel on Larry's head again, he never knows what I'm thinking even if I tell him.

  5. oh and Thank you Mark!!! You too!