Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Trouble in the Snack Shack

Lots of people called my gluten-free muffin names like horse pie, door stop,artifact, gall bladder yesterday. Undeterred, I was not ready to jump the xanthan gum ship. I had a fail-proof cookie recipe up my sleeve and I was ready to bounce back.  Do you even know what xanthan gum is smarty pants name calling reader? Well, Xanthan gum is a stabilizer and a thickener made from a bacteria that rots on cruciferous vegetables. Anyway, Eric left town again, so I have another week until I make the bacteria cookies. In the meantime, let me tell you about my awesome trip to see my family in LA.
It was birthday week for the Aries and Tauruses in the family, so of course we just had to go see my nephew Sammy (the Taurus) and baseball phenom play. We got to see him play second and pitch. My famous Sam Sam cake is named after Sam by the way.
Since we are talking baseball here's my pitch for (pitch get it? bahaha)
Veganville's Sam Sam loaf, a death by chocolate, rich, moist and uber- chocolaty chip loaf. If you have a hankering you can purchase some Sam Sam cake at

Anyway, while everybody was yelling Go Mustangs...I screamed, "Why can't you  all have pleather recycled gloves made from tires? Why is baseball so cruel? " (Sammy gets a hit!)

Thinking I would be better off in the kitchen than the stadium, my sister paged me to the "Snack Shack" where she was brewing coffee.The windows of the "Snack Shack" face the field so I got to watch the action and "moo" between snack servings.
Now I know my way around vegan kitchens.The "Snack Shack" I am appalled to say is not vegan. Still, I wanted to be of service to Heidi and Judy the other sweet baseball mom who was also working the "Snack Shack". Remember, veganism is all about  non-violence and helpfulness.
There were plenty of orders for dye number 7 Gatorade. Apparently some children were confused when I asked them if they would like their Gatorade hot or cold.
I was moved out of the beverage section onto the popcorn. Big seller. Apparently microwave popcorn is called microwave popcorn because one must microwave it. Several complaints and broken teeth later I was switched to the candy section of the "Snack Shack".

The kid who broke his tooth on the unnuked popcorn came back for some Jujubes.
I obliged. Yeah kid,sugar will help you lose your other teeth too, what's another tooth at this point? Come back tomorrow and I'll give you an 8 ball. 

Judy and Heidi took a break and left me to lord over the shack. I took this opportunity to steal some Twizzlers for myself. Apparently they have some video setup in the "Snack Shack".

The next picture was taken after I convinced several families not to buy nitrate laden hot dogs.

Hidden camera again.

The next thing I know that sweet woman Judy was pushing me out of the "Shack" and pulling something shiny out of her Louis Vuitton bag.
Pretty bracelets, Judy.
Put them on, GiGi.
Oh Judy, it was my pleasure to help in the "Snack Shack". I couldn't possibly take a gift...
Half way through the Miranda rights I confronted Judy...
Wait Judy...I thought you were number 7's mommy, then I remained silent for a little while.. I was just kidding about the twizzlers, Judy...
Well turns out you can be a mommy and a police sergeant for the LAPD at the same time..

Heidi and Larry want to know if they are in trouble by proxy.

Heidi and Larry are so happy that they don't have to serve time again.

Sammy's team wins too. Sammy's team is 20 and 3.
Two nights later Larry and I ate a delicious vegan dinner at the Veggie Grill  in El Segundo. I had  blackened vegan chicken with avocado over kale, and Larry had chipotle shredded veggie steak with a tangy BBQ sauce and caramelized onion. I wish I had pictures, but Judy confiscated my camera. Go Mustangs!

No comments:

Post a Comment