Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Stuffed Chokes

My sister Heidi is coming up on one of those benchmark birthdays. It's one of those birthdays the womens' glossies say is the new 35. Heidi says she's been feeling this benchmark age since she was 35. I've got 2 years on Heidi. I'll take 37.

Heidels is the first person I fell in love in with, after my Mommy and Daddy. So much so, I tried to get Heidi to climb out of her crib to play with me. She was fifteen then, but still. It wasn't easy moving those wooden bars.

When I was four years old I tried to teach Heidi to read. With apologies to Dr. Seuss, Heidels told me to, "Go sh** in my hat". She said what she meant and meant what she said, that Heidi.

I've been wanting to decorate a special cake for Heidi's impending birthday. Something peanut buttery and non-traumatic. So these cakes would not be an option...

Heidi facsimile Age 15

The Cat Who Sha* in the Hat

I really want to bake a theme cake. Hmmmm, Heidi loves her kids and crazy parents, me certainly, and her bi-polar brother-in-law Mr. Tasse, even her almost ex-husband but best friend and house mate, Mikey. None of these were cake decorating material. Heidi would have an asthma attack before blowing out the first candle and dozens of remaining candles might blow up the house.  
So I decided to make a list of Heidi's other top 3 favorite things in the world. Please keep in mind that Heidi is a hairstylist and not a medical practitioner.

                             Heidi loves:
    1.To identify rare diseases, and weird anatomy.
    2.Band aids and Two Buck Chuck (not necessarily in that order).
    3.To Perform the Heimlich.

Heidi's third fave always reminds me of my good friends Gillette and Kathleen and the time they tried to kill me with Mexican food. This was before I wrote all my fat blogs. I was not yet practicing conscious eating, when the attempted murder took place.
Gillette and Larry were watching basketball and Kathleen and I were yapping and wolfing down corn chips.
"Go ahead have some more, GiGi", Kathleen said.
Six porcupine corn chips later, I gasped for air and waved my then flabby arms. Since Kathleen thinks everything I do is funny ha ha, she laughed and left to watch the third quarter. Even I would not push a 4 cornered razor sharp tortilla chip down my esophageal tube for a cheap laugh. Me and my smurf like face stood at the door to the TV room and mimed for medical help.Gillette took another bite of his burrito and turned up the game. Larry ran to me as I sputtered, "Heimlich!"  Larry carried me to the bathroom, put his arms under my rib cage and ...lifted me up off the ground high above the bathtub. WTF? Tomorrow's headlines flashed before my eyes
Vegan Writer and Cook Mama Tass Chokes on Flax Seed Corn Chip! Lakers Win!!! 
Heimlich cake is definitely out of the question. I still have a couple of weeks to come up with a cake. It's still Italian week anyway.
Last night I made some really good...
                                              Stuffed 'Chokes
4 medium artichokes, leaves trimmed and cut
1 medium onion minced
about 1/3 Cup and 3-4 T olive oil
2 cloves garlic minced
1 1/2 C Vegan Italian bread crumbs (365 is a good choice)
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
Juice of 1 Lemon (1 tablespoon reserved) for lemon water
2 squirts Tabasco
Sea salt to taste

Fill 8x8 pan with 11/2 inches water. Add 1 T of reserved lemon water. Set aside.
Wash artichokes. Turn upside down to dry. Once dry, cut stems straight across leaving a level base. Stand up straight, pull off tough outer leaves, then with a scissor cut a 1/2' off tips of remaining leaves. With sharp knife cut straight across the tops of the artichokes. Place in lemon water. The water will keep the artichoke from oxidizing.

Spray large fry pan with olive oil. Heat pan and add 1/3 cup olive oil. Cook onion about 5 minutes, add garlic and cook for another 2 minutes. Remove from heat and add breadcrumbs, nutritional yeast, sea salt and remaining lemon. Divide stuffing into 4 portions and spread leaves on each artichoke and spread filling between leaves. I like using my hands for this. Stuff all the artichokes.
Place 11/2 inches water in a pasta pot, and place stuffed artichokes upright in water. Drizzle with remaining olive oil. Cover and cook for about 45 minutes until outer leaf is tender.
For additional reading enjoyment visit:

Happy Heimlich Heidels! xoxoxo
Today you are you. That is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you.
                                  Dr. Seuss


    WHO WOULDN'T LOVE ME AND WANT TO PLAY WITH ME ALL THE f'N TIME!! It's not easy being me (or being green,as you know) Speaking of green,those artie's sure look tasty!! That would be the perfect cake..more inro savory this 50thyear??? (today anyway)Thank you for the LOVE and the LAUGHS!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo P.S. you did not love me so much when you were trying to smother me and I bit you in the stomach(last year)

  2. That's right. Not 50 bahaha. Heidi meant 40.
    Last year??? Seems like yesterday. An artichoke cake it is.