I guess it was about 6 years ago that my sister Heidi texted me a message similar to this.
You better hurry down to LA the parental unit is on it's last legs.
You might want to say sianara and be on your merry way, since you know... since they are not leaving you anything except maybe some old shoe trees. Oh and that Las Vegas snow globe you wanted.
I had talked to the parental unit just moments before. Both of my parents have husky voices, so when the timber of my dad's voice sounded crypt like and my mom sounded like Foghorn Leghorn I figured their voices were just horser from yelling at each more than usual. Still the shoe trees were worth taking a trip for. Psycho Boy and I jumped in the car and drove 8 hours to the death condo.
We arrived drawn and haggard. Ding dong ding dong. I banged on the door with a shoe tree I clipped on an earlier visit and rang the door bell again. Ding dong. No answer. When I was about to give up and call the coroner, I heard a man yell, "Spin the wheel!" What the hell was Pat Sajak doing in my dead parents living room? I crawled on to their balcony and peaked through the venetian blinds, and there at the dining room table watching a deafening and gargantuan flat screen were two very alive parents eating spaghetti, drinking wine and solving TV hangman.
Since I am fairly thin, I slid through their venetian blinds.
Me: Doesn't anybody answer their doorbell anymore?
Mom and Dad: We knew it was you. Ha ha ha. Now that you are here, we might as well talk about those shoe trees.
Me: No. I am too vulnerable and I have to let Larry in.
Mom and Dad: Hi Larry! While you are here, can you go to T.J.'s for us? Here's the list.
We did not look at the list until we got to T.J.'s. It included 3 Two Buck Chucks and 3 bags of ginger chews, and two salads. We looked all over the meat cold case for the offending chuck meat. A Hawaiian shirted employee pointed us towards the cheap wine section. I guess, alcohol either kills you or preserves you.
So when Heidi texted me about my dad this time, I wasn't sure what to think. My mom confirmed that my elderly dad was doing very poorly and that hospice was in and he was taking morphine for pain. This time they knew we were coming and were happy we came. My dad wasn't that responsive at first, except when I asked if he was comfortable, and he answered, "I make a living." He also sang with Heidi and me several choruses of "Take Me Out To the Ball Game" and "Button Up Your Overcoat." Always the showman, my dad ended the song with," I really mean it!" My mom is still his main caregiver/entertainer so when I heard her bustling about I crept into my dad's room. My dad sat up, looked down at his hospital bed and exclaimed, "Oyvay", closed his eyes and opened them and added "Gefalt, and Patooey!" The three of us laughed and joked for what seemed like an hour, until my dad faded back to sleep.
Crazy Boy and I left two days later. I was exhausted and hungry the entire trip home. I am not normally a car sleeper, but I do like to nosh on road trips. I slept on and off for half the trip. While dazed and confused we bought these T.J. foods for the way home. Both are equally delicious and comforting.
Although there are times I miss my younger parents, a younger sibling, husband and of course a youthful me, I am grateful this Thanksgiving for all of them being around for as long as they have. Through all the trials and tribulations that have come with a long life, I am even more grateful that my family has maintained the ability to laugh at life's absurdities.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! And much love!
What are you most grateful for?
Well, GiGi, I hardly know what to say, except this was a piece of wonderfully honest, personal writing. Sometimes laughing and crying are the same thing, and joy and sorrow mingle together in mysterious ways. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, and may your great strength carry you through whatever lies ahead. Gratitude is a comfort.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thank you Andrea that is so sweet of you. So true.
DeleteBlessings to you and yours as well.
My mom works at the two buck chuck - winery!
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for Mar, Matt, my family and good health!
No way. Really, does your mom really work there?
Deleteyes, ditto!
Yes for the last 20+ years she has worked there!
DeleteI should note I am thankful I met you recently! Good friends and nice people make the world better!
ReplyDeleteThank you, you are so sweet, kendy. Backatcha! Hugs.
DeleteGiGi - my heart goes out to you and your family. I get a real sense of the relationship between you and your parents: lots of humor, irritation ;-) and love. It feels very familiar. My parents drive me crazy, but I love them so much it hurts. Can't even think about them not being here without losing it.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thank you so much, AUV! You sensed right.
DeleteYes, love them so much it hurts is a perfect description. Thank you for your beautiful insights.
I don't know what to say, except you're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThank you Laura! Hugs.
DeleteGigi, I'm in love with your dad after reading this post. Wish I coulda expressed you a box full of Thanksgiving goodies. We're still eating the leftovers. xxoxxo
ReplyDeleteAwww, me too, thank you VO!So sweet of you. leftovers are the best. Hugs.
DeleteNow I know where your unique sense of humor comes from. :) *hugs*
ReplyDeleteWishing your family all the best through these difficult times.
Thank you,my friend. Hugs back!
DeleteThis was such a sweet and touching post, Gigi. Humor is what gets all of us through life's difficulties, isn't it? It sounds like you and your family have it in spades, which is no surprise. I'm thinking about you and your family and sending lots of good vibes your way. You bring so much compassion into the world, I hope that you feel it coming back at you too.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your sweet and kind words Cadry. Yes, humor is a blessing. Thank you so much. Hugs.
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