Make No Bones About It We're Vegan

Sunday, October 7, 2012

MoFo 7 Sundays With Seitan Bahahaha

Now that I've gotten you here, there's no turning back...really, is there? Even if seitan keeps you prisoner in digestive tract hell, you might as well stay and watch my special message. It's meant just for you. And besides... there is no where else go...really. Bahahaha.

Bracciole with Sauteed Spinach and Shitake Gravy
1 Package of wheat meat gluten bahahah
2 cloves of garlic minced
1 lemon juiced
2 T nooch
1/2 T sea salt
1 C unflavored wheat panko
3 T vegan broth
1/2 T sea salt
1 Can of artichokes drained and chopped
3 T chopped sundried tomatoes (let's revisit that 90's ingredient)

cotton twine

Spray pan and heat, add garlic, saute for two minutes, add artichokes, sea salt, sundrieds and cook for 5 minutes, add T of broth if it begins to stick, or spray again. Add panko, lemon and remaining 2 T of broth. Heat (we are already hot here) for about three more minutes, then transfer to bowl.
Lay seitan out on cutting board with the short end facing you. Spoon a big dollop of artichoke stuffing into each seitan. Roll up and secure with twine. Yes, twine has many uses. Meanwhile add the spinach to the fry pan and sautee 'til wilted.  Are you wilting yet? Remove. Set aside spinach. Add bracciole to pan and brown on each side.

Shitake Gravy
1/4 C shitake mushrooms chopped
1 clove garlic minced
1 C vegan broth
2 T soy or tamari
1/2 tsp liquid smoke
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp rosemary
1/4 tsp thyme
1 T cornstarch mixed with 1/4 C cold water

Spray large sauce pan with oil. Saute mushrooms with garlic and seasonings for about 7 minutes. Add soy sauce or tamari, and broth and cook to simmer for about 13 minutes. Add cornstarch mix well for another two minutes. Serve over bracciole and spinach or on the side.
Worship the plate. See you when I'll be seeing you. Bahahahaha.


  1. Accepteth me unto thine cult oh Seitan.

  2. Even though I can't eat it, your recipe has me drooling!

    1. Awww, thank you, Veggie Amanda. Do you need a napkin?

  3. I almost bought a Praise Seitan shirt today... but I am honestly on the fence about seitan. Cool shirt though :) You're really getting some good mileage out of that crow!

    1. But it is so hard to be on the fence with something so cultish, No? I know what shirt yoiu are talking about, I like that shirt.
      Thank you, my friend designed the shirt.
      Hahahah.FF! Yeah that crow was a steal, and I am glad I' am not eating it ;)

  4. I have a Praise Seitan sweatshirt! A very old, very worn one from Herbivore. :)

    Loved the video & the meal sounds awesome. I'm putting it on our menu!

  5. Oh those worn out sweatshirts are the best!

    Thank you Molly. Nice to see you over here.

  6. Just reading the recipe makes my stomach hurt. I think I'll just have the gravy over arsenic - I mean rice. I used to be a seitan worshiper but I've moved on to curls of soy and amber waves of sorghum. Looks good though.

  7. Big babny. Big Baby.
    gravy over arsenic/ yes I mean rice is quite good.
    ahahaha curls of soy very patriotic of you, Andrea.